The Piano Man (Destiel)

Chapter 7: The Interlude

-Cas POV-

I knew the second I stepped out of the elevator and saw those bright green eyes I was done for.

I knew the boy would have me wrapped around his little finger before the week was over.

He was clearly shy, looking away quickly after our eyes met for the first time, doing the same when I smiled at him in the elevator.

I didn't mind that he stayed stuck to my side the rest of the afternoon after the orientation. I knew how hard it was to function in a new environment when you have severe anxiety.

He seemed put off by everything happening, angry at being alive, at being here..

I want to help him.. I need to..

I want light in his eyes. I wanna see the beautiful green orbs sparkle like stars on the country-side.

They're dull right now. Little stained green copper pennies, dark and sorrowful.

I can tell he isn't comfortable in his body, he constantly pulls on his shirt and wraps his arms around his stomach, sometimes I think he doesn't notice he does it.

His name is Dean... it fit him nicely.

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From what I know, two days in now, Dean has PTSD, obvious suicidal tendencies, and a rather extreme anxiety disorder.

I don't want him to go home.

I don't want him to hurt himself.

I saw his scars, angry white and thick pink lines littering his wrists and I suspect thighs.

He's rather good at piano, when he plays the light shines through his eyes, its still covered by a thin black film though.

He seems to he adapting well with communicating with other patients, hopefully staying the night last night broke him out of his shell a little.

The issue of him going home is still in my mind, I fear him hurting himself more.. or trying to die again.

I barely know the kid but the thought of him dying...

I've been talking to Gabriel about what to do, I know he's not a therapist but Cain isn't very social and he's the only other therapist for this floor.

Gabriel is trying to convince me to just tell Dean I'm not letting him go home but I fear that'll make things worse. It's clear the green eyed boy is trying to trust me and making him stay might break the developing feeling..

Of trust...

Yeah. Trust. Not any other feeling.

If I'm selfish and let him go home because I don't want him to hate me what if he does kill himself.. I couldn't live with it. With any patient doing that.

It's part of the reason why I became a therapist. Saving people who made the same mistake I did.

When I was admitted after my suicide attempt when I was younger the nurses and therapists where terribly rude. One nurse even called me crazy, saying "you wouldn't be in here if you weren't." It stung more than the blade ever could. I knew I needed to be there for kids who felt the way I did, especially after doing something as drastic as attempting suicide.

Dean and I probably wouldn't have gotten along if he knew me when i was depressed. All I did was sulk and whine, to this day I know it was rather annoying but the pain in my heart was excruciating, I try not to blame myself for the behavior.

Dean tries super hard to be normal. holds his head low to not draw attention, keeps quiet, and doesn't show to much emotion. He would have hated me.

I've grown since then, of course, learned how to cope...

I've sat with him and talked in his room twice now and I'm afraid what the nurses would say if they found out.

Dean didn't seem like the type to trust easily but when he was with me I could see it forming in his eyes.

I let a few "sweethearts" slip out on accident when I could tell he needed me to comfort him and at first I regretted it but after seeing the pain in his eyes dart down to a dull ache I knew it wasn't a mistake.

I just hope I don't make the pain worse when I tell him the news...

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A/N: SORRY FOR THE SUPER SHORT CHAPTER,, THIS IS JUST AN INTERLUDE and JUST A FEW CAS THOUGHTS INSTEAD OF A WHOLE THING YKNOW?

I took a break for the holidays, I apologize. I've already started on the next chapter,, it'll be out soon.