-Cas POV-
It was still dark when I woke up, I hadn't intended to fall asleep but Dean was just so... Comfortable.
I still feel awful about what happened, but I'm glad he's staying here, I just wish he hadn't found that nail. I don't want to be the reason he hurts himself... I don't want him to hurt himself at all.
I also feel guilty about what happened tonight, I shouldn't have indulged in laying with him, it was... Highly inappropriate.
The only reason I did it was because he clearly needed the comfort and my words can't always soothe a sad soul.
At first I just wanted to calm him down by giving him a hug or two but then... When we got back to his room, I saw his face... It was full of self-hatred and embarrassment, I knew I couldn't just sit there and let him deal with it alone.
Once I laid my head on his shoulder he seemed to fall into contentment... then he asked for me to lay with him... I couldn't say no...
A part of me wanted to though, to tell him I'm his therapist and I shouldn't... But I said yes anyway.
I told myself I'd leave as soon as he fell asleep. I told myself as soon as his breathing evens out I'll go home and try not to think about him.
But then I fell asleep,
Which was fucking. Stupid. Of me.
As soon as I woke up I jumped out of the small bed and threw my shoes on, praying it was only 11 or 12 and no nurse saw us laying together.
After leaving Dean's room I headed to my office before quickly throwing on my jacket and grabbing my bag.
I said goodnight to the third shift, secretary and went down the elevator.
I waited to check the time until I was in my cold car.
2:36 AM.
Welp, I'm fucked.
-
I'm so stupid, how could I say yes. I should have more self control than this, he's a teenager for fucks sake.
He probably won't talk to me tomorrow out of embarrassment and anger.
He didn't want me to lay with him, he was just... not in the right state of mind.. I shouldn't have taken advantage of him.
...but it was so nice to lay with him. It was the domestic care I've been searching for since I hit my 20's, and it's not gone on me how utterly attractive he is. What I would do to him if I had the chance-
No! I shouldn't think like this, he's only 18 and in an extremely bad place in life, I need to focus on helping him get better.
I guess we'll see what he thinks tomorrow.
Hopefully he doesn't hate me.
-
I got to work the next morning earlier than usual, not only because I couldn't sleep; worrying about Dean, but because today is visiting day and I have to get the patient reports in order.
Most of my notes are confidential but I still let the parents know the progress of their child (unless the patient was self-admitted)
((On visiting days, people come in anytime from 8 AM to 5 PM every Monday and Wednesday))
Visiting day is rightfully upsetting for everyone, realizing you can't go home and be with whoever is visiting you. I try not to let it effect me but it reminds me of my stay all those years ago. Alas, it also inspires some people to work harder on their issues for they can go home... I try to be lean on who goes home and who stays but I can't just let somebody go home because they want to.
أنت تقرأ
The Piano Man (Destiel)
قصص الهواةDean is a new patient at crossroads institution after trying to take his own life, Castiel is a therapist assigned to his case.
