3am Thoughts...

I Saw It Again.

I saw it again.
In my dreams.
It felt so real, like you wouldn't care if I had gone.
I have loved you for so long, told you everything, I even trusted you.
And still, my leaving never effected you in the slightest.
You still laughed with your friends you were happy and didn't think of me.

And I do want you to be happy.
I really do.
But please, please don't forget me.
All of the good and bad that we went through together and you act as if it didn't happen.

Thankfully, you woke me.
You were beside me throughout that dream.
You really do care.
As soon as I saw your face laced with concern, I wrapped my arms around you.
Never intending to let go again.

Because I love you.
I always have and I always will.
Because you are beside me through everything.
When I can't stop crying to when I don't want to cry or talk to anyone.
Those days when I isolate myself and lock the door, you always sit outside it and wait until I am ready.
And I love you for that.

Thank you for making me feel loved for a bit.
But I am still going to do this.
Sorry.
Please forgive me one day, and move on.