3am Thoughts...

All Good Things Must Come To An End...

"My heart was once easy to catch, my eyes used to light up as bright as a flame and my smile, well it's starting to fade, slowly but it's won't be long before it's gone or becomes fake."

"Like all good things, they either died or left."
"My heart ran away to him, but never returned. It then died, getting crushed by his selfishness and greed. The flame in my eyes slowly died after being washed to many times with the tears I cried for people who didn't give me a second thought. And my smile, well my smile died but returned, it may be fake but it stops people from asking questions and worrying about me."

"But who is this imperfect, cruel, world would worry about me? I'm nobody special, I've got a few friends, but would they actually care if I wasn't here? I doubt it, I really do. And being honest I don't blame them, I wouldn't be worried about me either, I stopped worrying when I was young. I stopped worrying, loving, crying, caring, trusting and showing people how I feel.
Why worry for me if I'm closed off from everyone, it's pointless. It would be better for everyone if I leave."

These were only few of those thoughts that raced through her mind that night, that night when her time was finally up. She'd waited for this moment since, well since as long as she can remember.
Now your thinking, but hang on a minute. What about her childhood? You couldn't have thought about suicide from a young innocent age, right?  But here is where your wrong. Her childhood was immensely full of indescribable pain, sadness and abandonment.
You see from the age of 7 she knew there was no hope, love or change coming her way. As the days turned to weeks, the weeks turned to months and the months turned to years. She believed that. She had shut out all feelings of happiness, hope and love, she had tried to shut out her feelings of anger, pain and loneliness but that didn't work well for her. She knew she deserved those feelings (Which is untrue. She deserved all the happiness in the world.)

By the age of 17 she had found someone who loved her. Or though she thought. He turned out like the rest of mankind. Selfish, stupid and greedy. But he had stolen her heart and no matter how much physical and emotional pain she endured from him. She just simply couldn't get her heart back.

Her "friends" had torn the smile off of her face, but for it to only return and suffer with that pain every day. Until that beautiful smile began to falter and was only there when necessary.
And her eyes, they were lit with flames of hope, innocence and forgiveness.

Sadly, all of those things died.

Her hope died the day her sister ran away, and didn't take her with her, she left her in a dangerous place. And she would never forgive her sister of all the abuse she was put under.
Her innocence died the day her dads drug infused friend thought she was "of age" that day still gives her nightmares and is a big reason of her trust issues.
And finally her forgivenesses died the day she first tried to take her own life, she could no longer forgive herself of all the scars that had been self inflicted.

But all those worry's were floating away and her mind would finally be at peace as she gracefully soared down the cliff, like a leaf on the wind. It was all finally over, nothing and no one weighed her down anymore. She could finally be up there with grandma.
Everything would be okay.

Then everything went black. She was actually in a better place, she thought nobody would care or notice but she was wrong. A boy about 17/18 was just standing there his mouth agape. He had just witnessed this beautiful girl take her own life. Little did she know he was watching and that his life would never be the same again.

He raced down the stairs following the cliff face, nearly tripping over his own two feet trying to reach her, deep down knowing that she wouldn't be okay after that fall, a part of him hoped that she would just be okay.

As he reached to bottom he came in contact with the hardest sight he'd ever saw. Her beautiful figure once full of life, just lied there on the soft, damp sand. She was once full of life, now she was just, dead.

The boy watched as her soul left her body, taking apart of his own along the way. He knew he'd never be the same again.