Coffee and Rings

Coffee and Rings-8

They say memories never get lost. That they are always there, just buried in the sands of time. But what do you do when memories get lost? What do you do when you get lost with them? Do you search the memories or yourself? Do you even search, or do you just let it go and move on and start a new life, completely different from the one you had?

I didn't know what to do. Everything I ever knew was gone and replaced by something new. Something terrible, something you never knew existed, something so horrible and disastrous that I want to escape this whole world and enter a new dimension.

The black blood I see everytime around me whenever we fight with The Blacks, the sound of bones breaking, the painful cries as they die for the mistake someone else did, as they leave their loved ones behind bevause of the cruel nature Vanishqe had is just simply enough to drive me - or anyone for that matter - insane.

And as if that is not enough, I just had to lose everything and be the only one not able to use his power becaude he didn't know how he 'died'.

I could take it all in, but knowing that I hurt the girl who is helping me, the girl who was my bestfriend, the girl who stood by my side despite the fact that we haven't seen each other for a year, just nearly made me want to kill myself for being an idiot.

The frame in Kimberly's hand consisted of one photograph. One of me and Kimberly. I was lifting her bridal style and our whole form could be seen. Her deep purple frock flowed down her thighs and in the air, making little skin above her knee visible. I was wearing a buttoned-up shirt, half tucked in my khaki pants. There were tiny droplets of tears running down on the glass of the frame, probably from Kimberly's crying.

She was crying over me. How could I forget her? I had never felt so guilty in my life, or maybe I had, who knows, I don't remember almost all of my life.

I placed the frame back on the bed like it burned me, which it did, though nor literally. I ran out the room and up the stairs, like Satan himself was at my back. I slammed the door shut and fell down on my bed.

I had to do something. I can't hurt the people who care about me anymore. I had to know. I had to get my memories back.

Closing my eyes tightly, I tried to open the lock in my brain that had everything I wanted hidden. I know it is there, somewhere. I fisted my hands by my side, trying to remember, something. Anything.

I imagined me with Kimberly, sitting on the couch in the living room and talking nonsense, playing basketball with James and complaining about everything and teasing everyone with Eva. I imagined all of us in a movie theatre, throwing popcorn at the people in front of us.

All I got as a prize was a throbbing headache.

I sat up on my bed, my head clutched in my hands and breathed out through my mouth. 

Deep breaths. 

Deep breaths. 

Deep breaths. I chanted to myself, as I started to feel a little dizzy. I fell down on the mattress, sighing and closed my eyes, placing my right hand over my eyes.

The brightness in the room woke me up the next morning. I stretched, standing up and looking around the royal blue room. I still felt tired, like I hadn't slept but instead worked the whole night. I scratched my head, blinking.

After showering and brushing my teeth, I made my way down the stairs. 

"Hey, Good morning", James greeted me.

"Good morning", I mumbled, looking around. Kimberly was running around in the kitchen with a banana in her mouth, Eva was seated on the kitchen stool alongside John and seemed to be in a serious conversation, Stella was stabbing her strawberries and Callie was reading a book. Ash was probably still snoring away the world in his room and would only wake up in the afternoon.