Sometimes | z.m.

7: Blankets, Movies and Warmth

The worst part of today, I think, is the fact that we came home in silence and without another word and went our separate ways. Zayn slumped down onto the couch and I went to the bedroom.

It was as if we always both have this mutual agreement to just be alone and away from each other, I hate it.

I decide to try to take a nap, hoping maybe a little more sleep would make me feel better, but I can't sleep. All I can do is run through my mind asking myself why I just can't get along with him. Why are we always on each other about stupid things? Instead of calmly telling the other person about something that is bothering us, we have to start an argument about it. It's like we keep fighting fire with fire. It's tiring and useless. I hate this.

I must have laid in bed for a while since the sun had set before I emerged from the bedroom. Zayn still sat on the couch, looking lifeless as he watched TV. He had Family Guy on, something he liked to watch every night. Usually, after I had gone to bed since I'm not one to watch a lot of TV. It is something that always made him happy in the slightest so I never ask him to change the channel — not that I've ever really taken the time to watch it. Maybe I should...

I come into the living room, a soft blanket wrapped around me as I come to the couch and sit down by Zayn. A whole person could fit between us. I feel like we're middle schoolers on our first date — uncomfortable and unsure of each other.

He takes his eyes off the TV for only a moment to look at me and then glues them back to the screen.

I watch the colourful cartoon as the characters made crude jokes that probably shouldn't be airing in 2018. I must say, I felt a little guilty for chuckling at a few things that were said.

^The first time I laughed, Zayn looked over to me seeming slightly surprised. Maybe he didn't think I was actually watching. A grin grew on his face when he heard me laugh again.

Then for the third time, he looked at me.

"Can... I-um share some of that?" He asks looking at the blanket.

"Yeah, sure." I smile, moving closer to him so we could both use the blanket.

With it draped over both of our laps, things felt calmer and more relaxed as time went on. Soon, we were both laughing together at the show.

"I didn't know you liked Family Guy!"

"I didn't either." I chuckle.

"Actually, I thought you hated it — found it offensive... that's why I always waited until you were asleep to watch it."

"I mean, it is pretty offensive but I just never watched it. I almost feel bad for laughing."

"Yeah, but it's all just jokes... you have to laugh at things sometimes, even if they shouldn't be funny."

"Guess so."

After an entire season of episodes went by, it seemed that the night had fully gone past us as the clock read nine o'clock.

"Are you getting hungry yet? I'm a little hungry." Zayn admits.

"Yeah, now that you mention it, I'm starving."

He chuckles at how I exaggerated 'starving'.

"Take-out then?"
I nod.
"Chinese?"
"Oh god, yes please!"

I love Chinese food but we rarely get it. We have to get it now, because the second he said that, I got a mad craving for it.

"Alright, I'll order in..." he pulls out his phone.

After figuring out our orders, Zayn called and we're told it would be ready in twenty minutes.

"Okay, good. Now we can eat out here and watch the rest of the episode... just need to clear the coffee table off."

"No, we should still eat at the table."

"Oh, come on... it's just one night."

"Zayn—" I start but then decide not to argue about it. He's right, it's just one night. "Fine... one night."

When the food arrived, we unpacked our things at the table.

"Z?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you be amazing and grab me a pop from the fridge, please?"

He exaggerates a heavy sigh as he tosses his head back.

"I guess I can..." He says getting up and taking the blanket with him.

"Hey! That's my blanket!"

"Is it? Well, I guess it's mine now."

"Come on Z, it's cold!"

"Come and get it then."

I paused for a moment, as did he. Then I sprung up from the couch and chased after him as he ran away with the blanket pulled tight to his body.

I launch myself towards him but he turns right before the fridge and I fall into him.

Both laughing and recovering from running all over the place, we stop. He has a hold of my arms as he had stopped me from falling. And for a moment, we really look at each other. The smiles on our faces caused by one another. His hazel eyes search my face for the cause of this feeling inside of us. I think we are both confused now, wondering why every night couldn't be like this. If only...

"Well... I'll get the pop... and um-here's the blanket you came for." He chuckles awkwardly, causing the tension to fade as he hands me the blanket.

"Oh... thank you, kind Sir." I nod to him, taking the blanket.

I make my way back to the couch and wait for Zayn to get back with our drinks. He comes back within seconds with two pops in hand ready to dig in the our feast.

...

After finishing our food, we both slumped back into the couch feeling bloated. I have no regrets about the Chinese food, just about how quickly I ate it.

The show still plays while we sit. I can feel his eyes on me instead of the TV while we sit. So, I look over to Zayn who was, in fact, looking at me. He just smiles softly when our eyes meet and then motions his head for me to come closer to him. So, I do.

He lays down on the couch and I lay in front of him. I'm short enough that he can see the tv over my head while we lay together, though it doesn't seem like he's watching it anyway.

He pulls my hair back off of my neck with his fingertips, laying his head down on top of mine.

"Remember before... all of this. You know when we first met and those first couple of weeks that you came here?"

"I do." I think back to what seems like so long ago, though it was only just over two years ago.

"I liked that time." He said, still laying his head on top of mine.

I can remember those days like they were just last week. I don't remember them being as pleasant as he does. Maybe there were a few days that were nice but it was all so scary and new. Yet, I still think back to those days every day.

That was where this life began and my old one ended.