Unexpected

24

ETHAN POV

"Hey thanks for meeting me. I know it's been a long time." James smiled, but he didn't hug me like he did in the past. His appearance hadn't changed much, but he seemed different than the James I had known.

"No prob, how have you been?" I sat down in the chair across from, not really knowing what to do with myself. I felt so awkward about being here, I almost hadn't come. Grayson was the one who had convinced me to be here. He had still kept in contact with James every now and then, so I knew it had to be important if he was urging me to come.

At first it had annoyed me that Grayson and James still talked occasionally, mostly because he would never give me any details about Emma's life, but in the end it had helped me move on. I didn't find myself laying awake at night thinking about her or checking her Instagram constantly to see how she was doing anymore. Honestly, I hadn't thought about her in months.

"I've been good. Really good actually, I launched a palette so that was really exciting. But anyways, I'm not here to catch you up on a year's worth of life events. I'm here to talk about Emma." He took a sip of his coffee and waited for my reaction.

"Emma?" I was genuinely confused. If I knew this was about Emma, I would have declined his offer.

She had left me alone in my car after confessing that I loved her. I didn't want to invite that pain back into my life, it wasn't good for me and certainly wasn't good for her. It had taken almost the entire year to fully move on from her and accept that my love wasn't  reciprocated. I was almost angry that he would bring me here and potentially ruin the progress I had worked so hard to make.

"What about her?" I asked, afraid of the answer. To my knowledge, she was happy. At least that's what the Emma super fans were sure to tweet me every day.

"She's moving to New York, I just dropped her off at the airport."

"Okay. What does that have to do with me? I replied, harshly. I didn't care if she left, I wouldn't let myself.

"I just thought you should know. Sorry for wasting your time." James said with a disappointed look on his face. He grabbed his coffee and stood up. He gave me a tight smile and turned to walk away. He stopped and turned back, scowling at me. "You know I always thought you two were perfect together. I really thought that you were a good guy that had made a big mistake. Maybe you're just the asshole Emma said you were. I was wrong about you."

—

I didn't allow myself to care, not until I was driving away from the restaurant and alone with my thoughts.

How could she leave me without saying goodbye? Had I meant so little to her? Maybe it was my fault...had I hurt her so badly in the past that I had driven her away?

I hadn't let myself miss her in months but the thought of losing her, I mean really losing her, drove me insane. We had both let each other go, but having her in LA meant that one day we would find our way back to each other; at least that's what I consoled myself with.

She had left me without a second thought. This was the final straw, the final realization that I had lost her for good. I felt hopeless, the crippling dread crept back into my stomach. It was a feeling that was now foreign to me, one that I had long forgotten.

I drove aimlessly for what felt like hours. I had to do something, the thought pounded in my head. I had let her go too easily in the past, just accepting I was no good for her. It was that attitude that had left me alone for a year.

I had filled my days with making videos with my brother and seeing random girls in my spare time. They all resembled her, but none of them understood me the way Emma had. Not one of them had her sense of humor or the same bright blue eyes. Their voices all felt too animated and cartoon like compared to Emma's throaty monotone.

Thoughts of her consumed me and when I
found myself driving towards LAX I knew what I had to do.

—

I touched down with nothing but my phone and a small backpack filled with clothes from a random boutique I had passed on the way. I was in no way prepared for the trip or to see Emma again. I had been completely impulsive in buying a plane ticket, not knowing if she'd even want to see me.

I checked my phone for the millionth time, rereading the texts Rebecca had sent instructing me on how to get to Emma's new apartment. I had to beg and plead her to tell me where she was, but Rebecca finally agreed. I felt slightly guilty for taking advantage of her weakness, she was a hopeless romantic after all. I knew she wouldn't stand in my way. Although she was a small woman, she threatened to kill me if I hurt a single hair on Emma's head.

I promised her I wouldn't. I promised myself I wouldn't. I vowed to stay in New York until I had made things right between us. Deep down I knew there may be too much damage to repair our relationship, but I couldn't go another year being estranged from her.

I made my way towards the cab stand and instructed the driver to take me to the upper east side. He was a kind older gentlemen who politely listened to me drone on and on about my problems. We collectively decided that flowers might be too overbearing and I had beat a dead horse bringing her iced coffees all the time. My best option was to convince her to go to dinner with me. He said wining and dining a woman had always worked for him in his prime.

I thanked him for the advice and made my way up the stairs to the brick apartment building. I triple checked that I had the right address and braced myself for the potential rejection I was about to face.

In retrospect climbing five flights of stairs probably hadn't been the brightest idea, but I was too anxious to wait for an elevator. I was worried I would lose my nerve and end up leaving.

When I reached her door reality set it in. I had chased her halfway across the country. I refused to lose her again. I knew I loved her, but my actions had just solidified my feelings. I prayed she would see it, too.

I knocked on the door softly at first and then again, gaining more confidence. I waited for her to answer, hoping she was home and not out or sleeping already.

She opened the door and frowned, clearly expecting anyone, but me. She looked beautiful in her all black outfit. She had not only gained weight, but regained the rosy tint to her cheeks. She was far from the frail girl I had last encountered.

"Hey" I smiled. The first genuine smile in a long time.

(HAPPY CHRISTMAS (eve) EVERYONE
🎅🏽 🎁🎉
I hope Father Christmas brought you all everything you wanted 💕 (if he didn't, here's a little gift from me hehehe) what are you all doing for Christmas? X)