Oikawa X Reader

32.

"Hey," he whispers into my ear softly, as I bury my head into his chest, not wanting to look into his eyes. To his confusion, I don't reply, I just stand there allowing him to hold me.

"Seiji it's time for bed now that your Mom's home," he instructs, "That was the deal remember."

Seiji groans, but he doesn't bother arguing. I soon hear the soft pattern of his feet on the stairs, and the shutting of his door. I still haven't budged from Oikawa's arms, but now he pulls back slightly, trying to better asses the situation.

"Do you want to go to our room?" He suggests, as I nod in agreement.

"Alright then," he smiles, his hand leading me up towards the bedroom. I hold it firmly, focusing on the way it fits with mine.

As we reach our room, I fall onto the bed, my body refusing to move any further. I glance at Oikawa for a moment, our eyes meeting silently, before I tear them away, and stare at the ceiling above me.

"Are you going to tell me what it is?" He asks seriously now, his voice loosing its signature childish sound. A nod is all I can bear to give him, and he lays down on his back beside me.

His hand encircles my own, awaiting my story. His grip on me is strong, voicing the concern he won't allow himself to say. I know whatever he's thinking, it couldn't possibly be as bad as what I'm going to relay. Still, I let him remain in ignorance for a moment longer, before having to retell my story.

"Did you get fired?" He asks suddenly, unable to withstand the suspense.

"No Tooru," I smile gently, resting my head on his chest, listening to his heart slam against his chest quickly. It only seems to get faster the longer I wait, contrasting the cool demeanor he bears.

I open my mouth to speak, but only a sob escapes, which is followed by a another, and another, until I'm gasping for air, sobs racking my body violently. He consoles me, placing a hand on my back, his other hand wrapping around me as I face him, my body not allowing me to form words. I can't even begin to grasp at the concept of telling him, every fiber in my being seems to reject the very idea.

When I finally catch my breath, I look to Tooru, who's face is completely calm. He looks at me with a gentle smile, coaxing the words out of my mouth. As I tell him, his smile seems to falter, as it becomes painfully obvious how much he's forcing it to remain. I acknowledge his effort to conceal his emotions, but it does little to soothe me at this point. His breath hitches in his chest, his grip around me becoming tighter as he pulls me in closer, more of a comfort for him than for me. I ball my hands in his shirt, as I begin to cry yet again, silent tears pouring from my eyes, and falling onto the soft cotton fabric. I want so badly to stop crying, as if that would make this any less painful for either of us, but I can't.

"It'll be alright," he mumbles, the words loosing volume as they tumble their way from the top of my head to my ear. I cling to them, wanting to believe that it's true, but it's nothing more than a wish.

"But it won't," I whisper into his chest, wondering if he can hear my hushed tone.

We remain intertwined like this, as the world seems to fall away into nothing, leaving us isolated in desolation. It seems I've finally found something he can't fix, which neither of us will admit. As my mind stays trapped in this void, I begin to wonder how things will be moving foreword. I know a change is inevitable, but I doubt Tooru will give up our happiness so easily.

He pulls himself away from me, his arms leaving mine, as things around us come back into focus. The traffic outside seems to grow louder as he moves further away, the warmth his hands gave me disappearing, as I feel myself growing numb. I watch carefully, as he runs a hand through his hair wildly, then brings it down to his eyes, his fingertips brushing against the crease of his eyelid. He exhales gently, before looking over to me once again. As he does, his breath stops, trapped in his chest, turning away from me, the sight of me being the source of his dread. I bite my lip hard, pain radiating around them, as I relax my jaw, and stare at his back, silently begging for him to turn around again.

"I'm going to the corner store," he announces, his voice shaking as he comes to this decision.

"Okay," I try to smile, wishing he wouldn't go.

"I'll be right back," he nods, "I promise."

I simply hum in response, pulling the blankets tighter around me, as I sink deeper into the bed. I want him to join me, but I know he needs his own space to process. I'm sure he has just as many concerns as me, though he needs to address them in his own calculating way. I shut my eyes firmly, willing the entire experience away, but to no avail. I listen to the familiar sound of him leaving, as I lay locked in place, unable to stop him. Instead I let him go, wishing I was strong enough to force him to stay.

"Please don't leave," I beg, my voice sounding desperate, as I watch him turn towards the door, without looking back once.

I shake the memory out of my head, knowing things won't be the same now. We share the same commitment to maintaining the family we've created, and regardless of what happens, I have faith in that.