Silly Kiss him not me oneshots

Friends

Fucking hell. Nana looked down at the phone in his hand, he sighed deeply and pulled his hand through his greasy hair. Gently letting his fingernails pick up the dirt from his scalp. He threw a glance back at the lit up screen again. He was an idiot.

Why? Why didn't it go away?

He started liking Igarashi all the way back in high school. It just happened, he'd never planned for it. It had just crept up on him, from thinking the things Iga said were kinda cute to getting nervous when standing alone with the raven in the hallway. He'd never meant for it, suddenly he was just deep down the rabbit hole and he felt so stupid. 'Cuz it was hopeless. Igarashi liked Serinuma-san, everyone did. Nana thought Iga would give up eventually but he never did- and so, he succeeded. The guy won her over. Maybe Nana would've felt better if he had been brave enough to confess back then, just take the rejection and move on. But he never did, and so he never moved on. Left on the side, wishing for something that would never happen, that was the jarring coldness of reality.

"Hello", a girl with dark short hair sat herself down at the bar table beside him. "I've seen you a couple evenings here now, though you never stay for long", she bit her lower lip teasingly. Nana scoffed, the girl wasn't bad looking nor particularly rude just...

Nana looked down at the message on the screen.

"I'm sorry I can't talk right now", he gave her a weak smile and she rolled her eyes and walked away.

Wanna grab a beer later tonight? Beer, huh? Such a casual question. Alcohol was dangerous, Nana knew that. Secrets would spill out as liquid poured down their throats. Nana didn't like the risk. He didn't want it to end up like that night.

The wedding. Yeah, the fucking wedding. Igarashi and Serinuma got married, who would've thought. She was wearing the most beautiful of rose-white dresses and him- he was dressed with the most elegant suit. Pitch black, slim fitted against his toned tall frame. They looked good together, really fucking good. Perfect in fact. Nana hated it. He had never been so disgusted with himself as that night. There was an open bar and he drank and drank. Drank like there was no tomorrow. People stopped walking up to talk to him at a point so he just sat at the bar table gushing down more and more of that cheap liquor, alone.

The ceremony had been gorgeous, a stunning couple standing at the aisle surrounded by beautiful pink roses. People cheering and crying as they gently kissed in front of all their friends and loved ones. Bitter, he was sour and bitter. Maybe even worse than that, he wanted to be on that aisle, not even necessary that- he just wanted to be with Igarashi. To be his. And that would never happen. Why couldn't he be normal, just be happy for his dear friends? Why couldn't his heart beat in excitement as they held each other's hands, why couldn't he cry from joy when they vowed to love each other until the end of time? Why couldn't he... just be normal?

Igarashi looked so good, his hair slicked back, newly shaved but most importantly- the guy couldn't stop smiling. He was squinting with his eyes, laughing loudly, his dimples wouldn't disappear from his tanned face. It was ridiculous. He looked so happy, so so happy. Nana could never make him smile like that, he knew that, they were just old pals after all. His stomach hurt, his chest was aching, he felt like puking, he wanted to rip his ribcage up. Just let that pressure out of his body. He didn't want to be there, he was disgusted with himself and his thoughts. His behavior. The worst part was that Iga didn't ignore him on his best day, no, no, Igarashi walked up to him. The raven had noticed the sad sloth in the corner. The smile was gone. They had already greeted nonchalantly before so there was no actual need for him to...