Don't Say His Name. . .

~12~

R POV

I woke up on soft yet firm surface. I almost groaned but I've been trained to not make a sound. My body felt awful though, like I got hit by a truck or something. I opened my eyes and scanned the room. It was empty except for the dark shadow that stood in a corner working on a computer or something.

That's when my memory started coming back, I am going to kill those Robot things! Batguy hasn't seemed to notice I'm awake yet, but screw it, I'm to sore and tired to do anything right now.

I pushed my body up into a sitting position, which took a lot of strength mind you. But it got Batsy's attention. He put his computer down and walked over to me.

"Your awake." He said more than asked in his gruff dark voice.

"You don't say?" I grunted. "So what, uh, what happened to those Robot things?"

"They got away." He said bluntly, I clenched my fist. How could they let them get away!? Isn't the Justice League like the best of the best!?

"I'd like to ask you a question." He said, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I looked towards him, "Fire away."

"Why did you help the team? Why not kill them when you had the chance?" Great he asked the question I keep asking myself. This is your fault author! You made me do a nice!

"In all honesty, I don't really know why I helped them out. I don't like them, I hate it here, but I don't know. I wanted to kill them so I couldn't let some no good Red Robot do my job." I answered. It was true, confusing in my mind and everyone else's, but true.

Batguy looked at me, he was smirking in his eyes. "Are you sure it's not because you wanted to help them? Or that you wanted to do something good?"

"I-," I was at a loss of words. Did I want to help them? Did I actually want to do the nice? UUHHH!

"No! Heck no! Why would I want to help those brats! And why would I want to do something good? I don't get paid for being good!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms up into the air.

"Well I'm glad your alright." Batguy said as he started walking out of the room. I froze, he was glad I was alright? Nah, not possible, the only people who care about me are Slade and Ra's.

The door creaked open and the Young Justice brats stepped inside. Don't they know I'm dangerous!

"We are glad your awake my friend." Fish legs smiled. I AM DANGEROUS WHY ARE THEY NOT SCARED OF ME!

"Yah yah." I scowled, crossing my arms and looking away from them. I am a dangerous threat! They should be cowering in fear! Restraining me! NOT STANDING THERE SMILING AT ME!

"Can I ask you a question?" Wally said, I looked up at him. "Why do you kill?"

I've already answered that question! "Because I get pai-,"

"No, why do you really kill." The Speedster interrupted. One; rude. And two; Wasn't that the answer? I kill because I get paid and Slade and Ra's tell–

I gasped in my head. Was that why I killed? Because Slade and Ra's tell me to? Was that my only reason? Did I really want there approval so badly that I'd end lives for it?

I felt my whole demeanor change. I was being sarcastic and moody earlier. But now it was serious, and cold, and sad.

"Because its what I'm told to do." I breathed, staring off into space. I didn't want that to be the answer! That's not a good answer at all! I ran my hands through my hair and breathed out a long sigh. WHY WAS THAT THE ANSWER!?!

"Well you know if you stay with us you won't be told to kill." M'gann said softly. I looked up at her, Stay here? But what about my home? What about Slade and Ra's won't they miss me? Won't the Owls want their best Talons back?

"You'll be able to do what you want. You can even help others, my friend." Kaldur said, no no no. No, no, no, no. I'm - I'm an assassin's that's all I do! I end lives not save them! That's my normal! Why is that my normal?

"Stay with us, you'll be a better off here then back with them." Wally said. Would I? But I was good back with Slade and Ra's. They were the ones who helped me. They said no one else would care for me. They were my family! THEY SAID THEY WERE THE ONLY ONE WHO CARED!

"Think about it." Wally said as the group of teens left the room. How dare they leave me with my thoughts! Those, those . . . How . . . how do I make decisions? Slade always chose things for be. I decided trivial details, but this, this is no mere detail. This is life or death.

Slade and Ra's . . . they care about me. They'd be hurt if I left them. I need them too. I don't what I'd do without them. They- They're my family.

But do I really wanna keep killing? Do I really wanna end another life? I knew it was wrong to begin with. . . but it made Slade and Ra's happy. They- they were proud of me.

I put both hands on my head and threw myself backwards onto the bed with a loud groan. Why are decisions so hard! I laid in the surface, just sitting there with my eyes closed. I can't make this decision. I just can't.

I felt my eyes start to burn under my mask. Great, just great. This stupid decision has got me so round up I'm crying. Uhhhhhhhh!

The door behind me open, I quickly thanked Slade for the techniques to stop stupid eye leakage. In walked the famous Batguy, he sat down in a chair not far from my bed.

"This decision is hard, isn't it?" He said, looking of to the side of the room.

"No, it's really not. I've already got a plan made up." I said nonchalantly as I laced my fingers together and laid my head against them lazily. Technically I did have a plan, it was to make up something and try not to panic! Yah that plan works! I like that plan.

"Oh! You do?" Batguy said, he sounded unconvinced. "Can I know your plan?"

"Unfortunately you cannot, it's on a need to know basis." I said, matter-a-factly.

"Well I actually do need to know because if your staying here with my team, in my mountain. It'd be nice to know if a new guest would be joining."
He said, I pursed my lips and looked away sheepishly.

"How about you stay here for a little while. It doesn't have to be permanent, but you could just get away for a bit." Batguy said, quite nicely if I might add. I looked over to him.

"Why do you even want me to stay here? It's not like you couldn't just send me to jail." Batguy looked away from me after my question.

"Well your obviously not as bad as you seem. You've been lying here, unrestrained, in a room full of things that could be weapons. And you haven't even made a move to attack anyone." He said with a smirk. I looked around the room, OH COME ON! There's even a knife on the counter!

I sighed, "sure Batsy, I'll stay in your little mountain."

"Great, well I'll leave you in here." Batguy smiled as he left the room again. I flipped myself over on the bed so I was laying on my stomach.

Why do decisions have to be so hard?

Why do they want me here? They don't like me, so what's the point of them being nice?

Are they planning  to do something with me?

What do they want with me?

I just realized this entire chapter was spent in one room. So that's nice. Also THIS IS THE FIRST CHAPTER OF 2019!!!!! WHOOP!!

Ok see ya soon!