Forgiveness.

Chapter 7- Guilt

Guilt

"Do you see that?" She asked, and I moved my phone off my face. Glancing over at the view she was pointing out I saw a kid wearing a Batman jacket, blowing soap bubbles and then he was running after it to catch them. It was a funny but never the less an adorable image. I looked over at Jeena; she had a soft smile over her face. It was warm and kind.

"What about it?" I asked because I knew it was not as simple as it seemed. She was trying to aim at something for me to see.

"That is what I want." She uttered, and I looked back at the kid who was giggling to himself as one of the bubbles burst against his nose.

"You want to blow soap bubbles?" I asked, looking around, not sure where to find them. Maybe Ezzah or Pamir knows but we have to wait until they do not join us in the park. They were still buying food for us while we are here on one of the picnic benches. She turned around and stared over at me as if I was stupid.

"No. I want what the kid has. That nature. A life without problems and pressure. A stress-free mind." Oh, my bad. I thought she wanted to blow some bubbles.

"Well, you cannot have that," I said with a shrug. Strange to say, all the people in my life want this, which is coincidentally crazy. Are we all fed up with our lifestyle that much? Maybe I don't feel like that because I do not have a routine.

"And why not?" She narrowed her eyes at me, causing me to focus at her as I shut my phone off, which I kept glancing at now and then. Putting it over the table, I took a long breath in.

"Because then that's not life." I gave her a small but sad smile. Truth be told all of this is just wishful thinking that won't really come true. If that was true, we do be in heaven now. An amount of such satisfaction can only be there. Here, it's just another day having another incomplete assignment which will never satisfy us.

"For someone who smiles a lot, you are pretty pessimistic." She said, rolling her eyes as she folded her arms over the table and looked at the side from where they were supposed to come because the gate was there.

"I am not pessimistic. I am just a realist. It's better to smile over what you have instead of crying over what you do not. Life will be a lot easier that way." I said, moving a little forward with my hands clasped together over the same wooden table.

"But what if we could really have such a life?" She asked, concentrating at me. I had the answer for it, but for a selfish moment, I just wanted to stare at her. The way she was looking at me to get an answer was practically speaking, can dilute our surrounding in a glimpse if it was possible.

The way her eyeballs moved back and forth as if expecting something that may disagree with her. Her lips were in a straight line as a serious cast plastered over her face. It was true that just like her every action, every word, her slight change in expression undid me. It was not because of her beauty, but it was the innocence behind it. One could even see it in her attitude in the form of childishness.

"Well, it's still a 'what if'. We can have a life that is better from what we have now, more peaceful but it won't be that perfect. Not now, not today, but we will have it." I tried to assure her and I could see she was, a little. Her eyes sparkled, and the enormity that had thickened the environment for a second had disappeared. That was how it was with her. I do not have to argue to prove a point. She realizes it, on her own and accepts what's right without a fight.

"Guys got the food. Listen up no one is complaining if they don't like it because I told you never to try food that you have never had just because it sounds fancy." Ezzah came, speaking from a distance away as Pamir placed the boxes on the table for us to pick. I did not expect them to show up soon.