Killed by Cancer

Chapter 66

'It's okay, even the sky cries sometimes,' - Unknown.

***

My eyes shot open. I wasn't in as much pain as I was before. The last thing I could remember is the sirens blaring.

"Alexa," Ryan said.

His eyes were puffy and I could tell he had been crying.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I'm just scared," he said.

"Of what?" I asked.

"Losing you," he replied.

Dr Ray came in with Mum.

"Hi Alexa. While you were sedated, we took a CT scan because we felt like we couldn't wait till you were conscious so I've just got your results here. Your cancer has spread to pretty much everywhere, I'm sorry to say. It explains if you've been feeling any pain recently," he said.

"How long have I got?" I asked, scared.

"Days, maybe not even that," he said.

I felt the emotions hit me as my throat got dry and ached so much. Mum's tears fell out and Ryan looked down at the ground.

"Can I go home?" I pleaded.

"That's your decision to make. You can spend your last few days at home but I would advise strongly that you stay at the hospital because you'll last longer and we can give you a constant supply of medicine for the pain," he said.

"I think you should stay here," Mum said.

For all of my life, I could have helped my Mum more. I could've caused her less bother by getting my grades. I could've made her more proud by being more successful in school. I could've helped her with the housework and appreciated her more than I did. The least I could do now is listen to her.

"Okay. Can I just go home one last time today, just to see everything one last time," I replied.

"We can arrange that," Dr Ray said.

I eased myself off the bed and sat on the wheelchair. Mum moved my oxygen supply to the back of the wheelchair. Dr Ray left the room with Mum to organise an ambulance to take me home. He said the ambulance would be a safe option just in case anything happens or if I lose consciousness.

I looked at Ryan who still had his head down. I wheeled myself towards him and used my hand to lift his chin up. There was tears running down his face. I wiped them with my fingers and I started to cry too. Seeing my big brother in tears hurts so much.

"Don't cry," I said.

"It's so unfair how you're going to die and I would do anything for it to be me rather than you. You don't deserve it. I don't want to lose my sister," he said.

"Don't say that, Ryan," I said.

Lilly entered the room and she was crying too.

"Not you as well," I said, trying to lighten the mood but I only felt more sad.

"Please, don't go," she said.

"Believe me, I don't want to, I'm terrified," I said.

She hugged onto me and Ryan.