The Grey Room

Protection

      My friends have always been the center of my attention, that and my studies. I could care less about other things but those two are at the top of my list. I would do anything for them, and I mean anything. Today my loyalty was put to the test, but not in the way you would think. 

      After lunch I walked outside with my friends, Aria, Hallie, Jessica, and Max all of whom are very dear to me. Well, not so much Max, he is Jessica's boyfriend. Not really my cup of tea. He was the sport-obsessed, hot head, that everyone loves. Except for me that is. He just seems a little too obnoxious and rude for my liking. Either way, Jess still likes him, no matter how many times he would cheat on her. I think this is their twelfth time back together. Who knows? No one can ever keep up with them. Sure I could ask, but then again, I could also go jump off a cliff. In my opinion, I'd prefer the cliff. 

      The girls get pretty defensive when we bring up each other's boyfriends. I don't understand why, though. It's not like anyone is going to steal them, especially not someone in our group. We know not to be around the other's boys for too long or talk to them for too long. We have a system. Four sentences and five feet away, that's how it works. We get four sentences to ask them to pass something to us or if they are feeling okay. We also stay at least five feet away when talking as long as we can help it or if the girl is near. Like if we are in an assembly and forced to sit next to them we can't usually help that. Or if they sit behind you in class. The boys know the rules too, and respect them just as much as we do. It is a small price to date one of us. 

     We were heading across the street to meet Matthew, Luca, and Percy. In our usual spot, behind the bundle of trees and under the barbed wire, the boys were sprawled out on the grass waiting for us. Matthew already had a cigarette nestled between his lips. Aria, Hallie, and I each went to lay with our boyfriends. Hallie took the bud from Matthew and got a nice long drag from it before sitting beside him on the ground. Then she took out her own cigarette from her jacket pocket and turned to Matthew for a lighter. Everyone else was doing it too, including me. Percy didn't really like that I smoked but he hasn't really told me to stop either. He was laying on a picnic blanket staring up at the sky with his face scrunched up in thought. 

   That's how it usually went, we would escape school property to smoke and hang out with our boyfriends. Although we were in a close proximity to each other we never really talked much out there, unless it was them. With everyone together, we didn't really need to. Aria, Hallie, and I can only see them during lunch anyways. Well, at least during the school day. Then we could do whatever we wanted to. Matthew, Luca, and Percy have already graduated, whereas we are still juniors. To some, it isn't right for us to be dating them because of the age gap. To those people we send our sincerest fuck yous, because technically we are old enough to do whatever the fuck we want so thanks.(We meet the required age to give consent.)

    None of us have to really worry about our parents too much, they think we are perfect. And we damn well are, at hiding our true selves that is. We smoke, drink, and do practically whatever we want. That is before we go home. At our homes we are the pretty, straight A's students, our parents think we are. School, however, is a different story. We each have extra pairs of clothes we keep in our lockers so we can change when we get to school. And, of course, change back into when we leave school. Having this double-sided life isn't that easy, but it's worth it. Better than being the petty goody-two-shoes we are supposed to be. 

      So we instead be our true selves at school, while still not drawing too much attention to ourselves. Which is why we go outside to smoke, behind the big cluster of trees, so no one catches us. 

      It's better this way too, everyone gets what they want. To be themselves, and not feel judged or pressured to be someone else they are not. We trust each other with our lives, let alone our secrets.