Decisions (Harry Styles)

Chapter 50

JAMIE'S POV

After what happened, I was exhausted. I don't know why but Brandon always takes everything I have. Just talking to him is hard for me. I have to be strong and not be intimidated by the man who destroyed a huge part of my life. Of course Harry gives me strength, but I still have to dig deep in my being just to find that inner power. 

"Can we go back to bed please?" I asked, just wanting to sleep all day long and get over what just happened. 

"Sure love" Harry said, taking me in his arms and leading me to his room. He put me on the bed and layed next to me, still holding me against his chest. 

Even though I was trying to be strong and act like I was unbreakable, Harry knew how fragile and broken I was. It was easy for me to put a mask and hide how I was feeling to everyone around me. But for some reason, I can't do that with Harry. He always finds a way to remove that mask and he always knows what's hidding behind it.  

That's another thing I like about him. I don't have to say anything, Harry just understands everything. Same thing for me. I feel the same connection. I know when he isn't feeling well and I know everything he thinks about most of the time. 

" I'm really sorry love." he said,stroking my hair gently. 

"Why?" I said, not understanding what he meant. 

"You know, for inviting him over. I should've told you. You weren't expecting this and I know how hard it is for you to see him. He just really wanted to see you and I knew that it would help you but still..." I could tell he felt really bad just by the tone in his voice. He wasn't as confident as usual. 

"Hey, it's fine Harry.!" I said, meaning it. 

"No it's not fine. I don't know why I kept it hidden from you. You deserved to know and it was a really stupid idea. I wanted to make sure that you were over him before actually moving on with you." 

"I'm over it. I won't forget but I know that I'm over it and I am ready to go on with someone else." I said, tracing his tattoos with my fingertips. 

"You're strong and I know it but I still needed to apologize because I saw how freaked out you were and I felt really bad and-"

I cut him off by kissing him. It's not that I didn't care about what he had to say, I just already knew it. Harry wants what's best for me and I'm aware of it. When something's wrong, he will always take the blame no matter what it is and I hate it. He has to stop blaming himself and start to believe in himself. 

Even though he changed, Harry still sees himself as the "bad boy". Deep inside, he still has that voice telling him that he's not good enough or that sooner or later, he will break someone. Actually, I trust himself more that he trusts his own self. My goal is to be louder than that voice. He has to know that he can have a positive impact on someone.Personally, Harry is the only reason why I feel alive right now.  

"I guess that means I have to shut up?" He said, slowly pulling away. 

"It does." I said, teasing him. 

"You're going to pay for this." He said, pinning me to the bed.

"I'm so scared." I said, giggling. I loved his playful side more than anything. 

"You should be." He said, kissing me softly. "I knew that you were a bad girl Jamie Carter. Not only because you told me." he said, winking at me. I blushed at the thought of that night, when I first kissed him. 

I changed so much since that day. I remember how scared I was to fall in love. I was trying to avoid Harry as much as I could but it was impossible.

Now, it's completely different. I'm trying to spend every second of my life with him and I can't stand being far from him. He is all I think about and I'm finally proud to say that I'm deeply in love with that man.

 "After that night, I couldn't let you go Jamie. I swear, I needed to make you mine." He said, kissing me harder. 

His hands were travelling my body and to my surprise, I was craving for more. I liked the way he was touching me and I needed to feel him closer. He lifted my shirt and removed it slowly. He started kissing my neck and I swear it turned me on more than anything. I never felt that way. When Brandon touched me, it was a huge turn off. 

He was on top of me, still kissing me everywhere. I felt his crotch on me and I could tell he was already really hard. For a second, I was scared. I remembered how much it hurt me when Brandon had sex with me. I had to tell myself that it wasn't the same thing at all. I had to stop thinking about him. 

I took off Harry's shirt and pulled him closer to me. He knew exactly what I wanted. I slowly pulled down his pants, glad that he was wearing sweetpants and not his usual skinny jeans. 

"You sure about that?" he said with his appealing husky voice.I answered with a kiss. I was absolutely sure. Harry gave me confidence and I could tell that I was ready to go further with him. I could go anywhere with him. 

He slowly thrusted into me. The feeling I got was absolutely indescribable. Harry was good, really good. It didn't only felt good physically, but also mentally. I never felt that close to anyone. 

We were moving in sync. His hands were still traveling my body while he laid kisses everywhere on me. I didn't want it to end. It was nothing compared to what Brandon did to me. I could feel the love in every single movement he made.  

Even if he wasn't aware of it, Harry knew how to make love to someone.

______

AN

Hey everyone! 

Sorry it took me a while but I started school. Yay! 

It's probably going to take a while for the next chapter too. I felt like I rushed things on this chapter so I don't want it to be that way for the last one. 

I hope you enjoyed it and thanks for your support. 

Love ya. 

Aly x