First Punch ➟ Kellic

F I F T E E N

It's his birthday.

I haven't talked to him in days. We haven't even interacted, other than me watching him from afar at lunch. I've been so good, despite him consuming my every thought. It's fucking torture, but I've been keeping my distance. Still though, he's all I can think about.

The worst part is that I promised to take Jake out for a fun night, and I hate not full-filling my promises. I'm sure he doesn't expect me to pull through though. He hasn't tried to approach me, we haven't even exchanged a glance. He still sits in the back row where we used to always sit together though, and everyday I'm more and more tempted to join him. I miss him like crazy.

I even had a weird dream about him last night of us shopping together of all things. It was beyond strange, especially considering I rarely have dreams.

"You're getting up, right?" Carter says to me through my door. I roll my eyes, hating how naggy he is in the morning.

"Yes," I reply annoyedly. He just laughs, his footsteps retreating. I sigh before rolling out of bed and slowly starting the day.

I pull on black ripped jeans and a black Metallica band shirt, trying my bandana around my ankle and grabbing my switchblade. I head into the bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror as I brush my teeth. I look tired. And...sad.

I shake off the feelings and out the door I go for another painful day at school. It's almost the end of second period and I probably won't even bother going. But that leaves me in a predicament. What am I gonna do about Jake? It's his birthday and I'm not enough of a dick to completely ignore that. Should I sit with him? I feel like I have to do something. And I know he doesn't want anything big or it'll remind him of his grandfather. That was why I suggested drinking, it's my go-to activity when I want to distract myself or forget about something.

As I walk, my mind reels trying to come up with a plan. I probably shouldn't even say happy birthday explicitly or it might make him spiral. But what else do I say? How do I go about talking to him again when I told him he means nothing to me and never would mean anything to me? I was fucking harsh. Lately though, I've been beyond lonely. I kind of want him back in my life. Besides, he kept his word on ending the attacks, and that was the main reason I was so mad.

I make it to the abandoned house with some kind of decision made. I think I knew this would happen sooner or later, and I guess today's the day. I'm gonna talk to him again. I'm gonna try and repair things.

I put the brick back into its place and smile a little to myself. I'm kind of...excited. I really do miss him. I practically skip over to the school, my body feeling like it'll explode. I missed feeling like this, I missed the anticipation of calculus class.

I head inside, still somewhat annoyed by the busy halls, but I don't let it ruin my good mood. I purposefully pass by his locker on the way to mine, seeing him surrounded by all of his friends. They seem to be trying to hype him up or something, but Jake is clearly not into it. He smiles a little at them, but it's pretty obviously not genuine. I tear my gaze away, trying to come up with a plan. How do I say happy birthday without actually saying it? I guess I could give him something, like a gift. I don't have anything with me though. Well, except for books and a pen.

I groan as I stop at my locker, wracking my brain for something, anything, to give him. I don't even know that much about him. The only interest of his that I know of is music. Then I get an idea. I grab my math book and tear a page out of a notebook, rushing off to our classroom and praying that I get there before he does. Luckily for me, I walk into the room while it's still mostly empty. I speed-walk to the back row, dropping into my old seat at the end of it. I instantly open my phone and start scribbling song names onto the page. I don't have time to be super picky, but I try to choose one's I think he'd like. I keep glancing up at the door, worried he'll interrupt me with his presence before I can finish.