First Punch ➟ Kellic

T W E N T Y O N E

I wake up Tuesday morning feeling absolutely exhausted. I don't want to go to school. Jake will probably be at the hospital again, and without him there's really no reason to show up. And even if he is there, it'll just be torture. Every particle in my being wants to kiss him again, but we can't. Being something as simple as friends is dangerous as fuck, so I can't get too attached. It's only a matter time until it all goes south.

I sigh, hating my decision to distance myself as I drag my aching body out of bed. I pull on my usual ripped black jeans, rolling them up a bit at the bottom. I throw on some random Ramones t-shirt, that same red flannel and put a beanie on my head since it's rainy out today.

The walk to school is boring and I struggle to distract myself as I mentally chase thoughts surrounding Jake. He's just...ugh, I don't even know. He's so sweet and nice to me. That literally never happens in my life, and I weirdly love having his attention. Normally all I want is to be a fly on the wall, but when it comes to him I'm the complete opposite.

I stop at the abandoned house, pulling the brick out and am surprised to see Jake's knife already inside. I smile a little, dropping mine in too and hurrying into school. I curse myself though, forcefully calming down. It's only halfway through second period and I have a while until I can see him. Not that it even makes a difference. When I do see him, I really need to control myself. As much as I hate it, we can't be anything more than friends. Friends is risky enough. We shouldn't even be that, but I can't lose him. He makes me so happy.

I sit through the painful lecture discussing some stupid Shakespearian play, again staring at my phone and wishing for Jake to text me. He won't. I know he won't because I won't. But still, a part of me craves it.

Finally, the bell rings and I hurry out of the room and off to my locker. I try to resist, but can't help it as a smile keeps creeping onto my face. I can't wait to see him.

I grab my math book, quickly shutting my locker and rushing off to the room. I move so fast that I'm one of the first ones to arrive, nestling myself comfortably into my spot in the back row. I wait patiently, flipping my book open to today's lesson and fiddling with my flannel and beanie to make sure I look my best. Shit, I've got it bad. I shouldn't care how I or my outfit look.

Soon enough, the classroom slowly fills up and in Jake walks. He's wearing loose grey jeans and a black sweater with a matching black hat. He comes in looking down, but as soon as he approaches our row I see his face. He looks at me, smiling a little as he yawns and drops into his seat. My face immediately drops in concern. His eyes are drooping, his already somewhat purple bags only having grown. He looks absolutely exhausted.

"Are you okay?" I ask him, still assessing his appearance. It's very strange for him to wear such an all around loose outfit. He always, always wears skinny jeans. And even then, he usually wears t-shirts or long sleeves. I know it's rainy out today, but it's still annoyingly humid and warm. So a sweater? Something's off.

"Mhm," he mumbles, opening his book. "Just tired." I keep staring at him, not liking the answer. Either something happened or maybe I'd woken him up when I left, but there's no way he had a good nights sleep. I just want to know why he's not telling me what caused it.

"Couldn't sleep?" I add, hoping he'll give me more detail. He shakes his head, finally finding the right page and leaning back in his chair as he looks over at me. I still have a concerned look on my face, and he smiles a little probably to help relieve me.

"How did you sleep? You look tired," he tells me, changing the topic. I'm still worried about him, feeling kind of guilty. Maybe if I'd stayed over he would've had a better night.

I just shrug, answering, "Took me a while to fall asleep, but I'm fine."

"How long?" he wonders, yawning again.