Missing Happiness

*7*

When Taehyung went to his room and locked he was just sitting in front of the door and looking to the ground. He was sad and scared at the same time. He knew his friends were really worried about him but at the same time he thought that if they would found out they would be really disappointed. He was afraid to ask for help. Who would want to help someone like him?

He started crying silently. He was trying so hard to be quiet. He didn't want anyone to hear him. His tears were falling on the ground. He was desperate. He didn't know what to do. His whole body was shaking and he couldn't breathe. He went through his hair with his hands. He heard the voice again. He heard his words but didn't want to do the things. Those bad things which were whispered by the demon in his mind.

,,Oh my dear poor Taehyung. Are you crying again? Are you that weak? Do you want me to help you? Should I tell you what to do?"

,,Shut the fuck up! I don't want to hear you! Go away!" Tae yelled. He wanted that voice to hear him. He was wishing that the voice would go away.

,,Oh Taehyung I'm not going anywhere. I'm your best friend did you forget? What would you do without me?! You would be just a disappointment. They would have kicked you from the band if I wasn't here. Now do what you do always. Let's go cut your arm or burn yourself that's fun." As Taehyung was listening to that voice he knew he was slowly loosing his mind. He was getting crazy but he was afraid of the demon's voice. He would do anything to shut him down for a while.

He stood up and went to the bathroom. There was an empty space where was a mirror before.

,,At least I won't see your disgusting body and ugly face."

He was pretending he didn't heard that and opened the drawer. He took another blade and stood in front of the sink. As he was getting closer with the blade to his skin the demon's voice was more silent. He touched his wrist and the voice said just one thing.

,,DO IT!!"

And he did it. He slid with the blade through his skin and let the blood start running from the wound. He was watching the red blood on his pale skin. For him it was just like art. He was enjoying that beautiful silence and the picture on his hand. It didn't took long and that voice was back.

,,Do you really think this is enough? I want more my dear."

So he did it again.

,,I want more!"

And again.

,,I WANT MORE!"

And again.

,,MORE!"

And again. As he stopped he saw his arm. His whole forearm was covered by scars and blood. It was running quickly and he was just watching it. His sink was filled with blood. He turned the water on and washed it. Then he washed his arm and looked at the wounds. There was over thirty cuts. Red lines that were bleeding. The blood was still streaming and the voice was gone. He felt happy after a long time. He bandaged his arm and turned off the water. As he walked to his room he opened the closed and looked at his clothes he took an oversized grey sweater and jeans. He changed his clothes and lay down on his bed. He was tired and wanted to sleep but as he closed his eyes he heard banging on the door and voices of his friends. He was confused. But then he heard Jimin asking to open up while knocking at the door.

Taehyung was hesitating for a moment. Should he open? At the end he chose to open the door and let Jimin in. He stood up and felt a bit dizzy but still he unlocked the door. As he opened Jimin jumped at him hugging him tightly. He was happy to feel his hug. It was warm and comfortable. As they stopped hugging they closed the door and sat on Taehyung's bed.

,,Are you okay Tae? We are all worried about you.. " Jimin said and put his hand on TaeTae's shoulder. It felt so bony.

,,You don't have to worry guys, I'm okay just a bit tired of the practices." He was speaking slowly and quietly. Jimin put his palm on Taehyung's forehead.

,,Are you really okay? You're so cold.." Jimin was worried even more.

,,I'm fine." Taehyung reached for Jimin's hand and held it. And then Jimin saw the red blood soaking through Tae's sleeve. He gasped and felt tears in his eyes. He looked at Taehyung's pale face and wanted to ask him what did he do but Tae fell on his back with his eyes closed.

***

I'm trying to write but it's all so complicated, I'm really sorry. There's a longer chapter for you all.
I love you all sweethearts. 💕💕

I-love-butterflies