the day before

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The day before the call was a good day. I hadn't been having many of those so I wrote it down in a journal I hadn't used since middle school. Remember, Nessa, you have good days too.

Ben said Mom was out of bed and it looked like it might stick this time, like maybe, after five years, we would get some piece of our mother back. His voice was hopeful, radiant, on the phone; I could hear his grin. It had been a while since I'd heard him that happy.

That night, I went out with friends, heart in my throat. I usually never let myself hope, afraid of being disappointed, but this seemed real.

"Why don't you slow down, Nessa." Trinity didn't say it like a question as she put a hand on my arm with a casual gentle smile. I laughed and brushed her off.

"I'm celebrating," I said and took another shot. I'm getting my mother back. Trinity kept looking at me.

"Really? Because it looks like you're drowning," she said lightly. I'm getting my mother back. I held her gaze and took another shot.

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