Oneshots

A.U Shannon

  "Shannon, Dammit just take two bites! This is getting dangerous!" the dark haired male yelled. Despite his harsh tone, worry covered his face as he stared down at his brother. Shannon looked up at him, and Xander could help but wince a little at how gaunt he was. As was to be expected, the male just pushed the plate away. Shannon curled up, easily fitting himself in the chair.

  "Xander...I can't" he said softly. His dull blue eyes glistened with tears and he looked away. He played with his sleeves before simply standing and going to walk past Xander. He swayed and stumbled. Xander cursed going to grab him, but he was too late. The fabric slipped right through his fingers and Shannon hit the floor with a sickening thud. Xander started to panic slightly.

  "Shay..?" he asked kneeling down and rolling him over. He knew the male was out cold, yet he still tried to wake him, panic fueling his actions. He could barely breath as he fumbled for his phone. He called 911, frantically explaining the situation. Once they hung up he could barely think. He was surprised to see water droplets hit Shannon's face. He touched his face briefly in surprise. A choked gasp left him, and soon he was just crying over the males body. He gasped weakly for breath. He wasn't stupid, he knew what this meant. He was even studying to be a nurse. For once he wished the male wasn't so goddamn stubborn.

  Xander was numb as they headed to the hospital. He answered every question in a monotone voice. He didn't bother watching them work, he couldn't look. He didn't want to see Shay like this, skin and bones laying near dead in an ambulance. That's not how he wanted to remember his brother, his best friend...and the love of his life. Once they got there, Shannon was rushed inside and Xander only followed at a slow pace, staring at the ground. He had a pit in his stomach, and everything he was feeling. All the fear, the sadness, and the frustration just drained away. He waited in the room, absently watching the doctors work. It was clear to everyone that he was in shock, so Xander was given ice water to drink and a nurse asked him questions, to make sure he was still coherent.

  In a few hours Shannon woke, he looked rather unsurprised to be in the hospital. When the doctor walked in Shannon even smiled at him.

  "Hey doc, you here to tell me what I think you are?" he said, laughing weakly.

  The doctor didn't crack a smile, he looked at Xander who sat stone faced. He knew what was happening, he knew what Shannon was going to decide and he was trying to work through it all. It was surel to him, as if this was all some crazy nightmare. But yet it wasn't, it was real and Xander could barely handle it. The doctor sighed and sat down.

  "I'm sure it's no surprise. But your organs are failing, If you don't eat anything, or let us give you nutrients you won't live longer than a few days, though at this point it's doubtful that your body would heal itself anyways..." The man looked at the young male with sadness. "On your records it says that you have a do not resuscitate order, we can't do anything unless you change that...so i'm asking you...will you consider changing it?" he asked without hope. He knew by the males smile, and peaceful expression that he wasn't changing it.

  "Sorry doc...I...I can't. I think...it's best that you just...let me go. I can't be happy in this body anymore." He laughed weakly before curling up as he was wracked by pain. It was a few minutes before the seizing of his organs stopped and he coughed weakly. "My mind has never been my friend..and I am so close to finally being at peace." He murmured before looking at Xander.

  Xander was staring at Shannon with a pained expression. Tears leaked from his green eyes and rolled down his cheeks. In a rough voice he spoke slowly. "Can you please make his passing easy? He's been in pain for so long...can we make his last days be peaceful...?" There was a clear hint of desperation in his voice and he gave the doctor a pleading look.

  The male melted seeing Xander's distress and Shannon's clear pain. "Yeah..we..we can do that much. I'll..be back in a few minutes." The doctor stood and left the room, he found himself tearing up as he went to fill the males request. It was days like these that had the him hating his job.

  Shannon stared at Xander and Xander stared at Shannon. Finally Xander spoke. "Shay this is the hardest thing i've ever had to do, but because I love you...and because you're so fucking stubborn i'm going to let you...leave in peace. I'm going to miss you every day for the rest of my life, but I'm glad to have had this time with you....I will help people like you when I get out of school...I'll help them...okay?" he said choking up.

  Tears ran down Shannons face, and yet he gave a weak smile. "You're too good for this world Xander...I love you and please..help them. No one should suffer as I have...to be tormented by your thoughts and by everything...You will do amazing things. I love you.."

  Soon the doctor returned and hooked shannon up to an IV. He smiled sadly and sighed. "There you go, I will be back every few hours to check on you."

  After that the next three days were peaceful, Xander stayed with Shannon and they talked, played games and watched movies. It was a happy time, but the weight of what was going to happen hung over their heads. On the forth morning, Xander woke up with Shannon curled into his chest. He gasped softly feeling the males cold skin, he checked his pulse. Nothing. Xander smiled weakly, starting to cry as he just held the male close.

  "God I love you...I am so so sorry" he whispered, barely able to force the words out of his mouth. He held the male tightly, and it wasn't until the nurses came to check up on them, and found out that the male had died in his sleep, did he let go. He watched everything happen in a sort of daze, barely able to believe he was gone. Even a few days later at the funeral. He had barely processed that he was gone. But as he watched the casket get lowered into the ground, he looked on with determination. Yes it would be incredibly hard. But he'd keep the promise he made, and he'd make his brother proud.