My Secrets

Chapter Eight: The Final Battle

The most important thing is to never give up, never give in to circumstances, believe yourself, and to soldier on, no matter what's in your way. ~Luka Modric

Everyone knew what they needed to do. All the women and children have been placed somewhere safe and only one person knows the location which is me. No one needs to know where they are incase we lose. 

"Ready?" i looked up to see Josh standing in the doorway to my room

"Yeah" i put on my mask and got off the stool i was sitting on, putting my pistols on my belt and walked out with Josh.

"How are you feeling?" i could tell he was concerned about me and the recent news but i didnt have the emotional capacity to deal with that

"Im fine." was all i had to say for him to drop it. We walked down the stairs towards the huge living room filled with the Barbie squad

"Everyone ready?" Chris yelled towards the Barbie squad as they set their final weapons

"Yes chrisypoo" one of them yelled out making Chris shiver with disgust

"This is the last time we work with the stooges" he whispered before passing me towards the alphas office

"Listen up. We are going to fight blind, we dont know much of what supernatural beings are coming but we know that the leader is a vampire." Josh let out a sigh

"I know that what we are asking of you all is a lot to handle, and trust me i would understand if some of you are scared, so with that said this is the time to decide. If you want out, step through those doors, no one will think less of you." he pointed towards the front door

"If you choose to fight blindly with us, just know we might not all make it out alive." it was quiet, then someone raised a hand

"Yes?" i asked

"If we all wont make it out alive...do you mind if we say a prayer?" I looked at Josh, not for conformation or shock but for the first time in a long time i knew that not only i was scared, we all were.

"Please" he said gently 

"Everyone please gather around, hold hands in a circle." i made my way to join the circle

I've been to many many battles, ive always been armed with weapons and knowledge of who or what im fighting. Ive always been emotionless and focused, but ever since i came here a lot has changed. I found my heart, my soul, ive opened my eyes to the possibilities and the impossible. Ive strengthen my friendship with my team and ive learned to accept the things i cannot change. I found my soulmate, and everyday he gives me a reason to love him, to care but i cannot let him know that, for his safety and mine.

"Father, I commit my life into your hands. Guard and keep us safe. Protect us from enemy assault, accidents, and errors in judgment. Protect my comrades, too." 

My life has been a series of broken hearts and disasters, ive done bad things and good things. 

"Every day, God, I face enemies from without and enemies from within. You tell us in your Word that we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, powers, and the forces of wickedness in high places. Bind Satan and his influence in the world. Render powerless those who work for him and with him. Confuse and thwart their plans. Surround me with your angels and let no weapon formed against me prosper. Hide me in the shelter of your wings."

I dont blame anyone for all that, ive held anger in my heart for so long and it felt so heavy...now i finally understand

"In the thick of a firestorm, the uncertainty of a mission, or the pause between one assignment and the next, fear often wraps its icy fingers around my heart. I fear dying, dismemberment, and dishonor. To number my fears would take all day, but you, Lord, know them all, and yet you tell me, "Fear not." Calm my anxious heart and fill me with your peace. Grow my faith, and remind me to pray instead of worry. "

Everything happens for a reason, not to any of our liking but it all has an beginning and an ending. Dont matter how it starts or how it ends, everything will always fit into pieces at the end. When you finally realize this, you finally understand forgiveness. 

"Amen" all in chorus

I forgive those who wronged me. I forgive myself. I forgive.

"Ice, are you alright?" I turn to look at Josh who sounded worried

"Yes, im...im good" i let out a sigh

"im good" i said again feeling such weight off my shoulders. 

"Its time" someone ran in the house yelling

Today is my final battle, after this i will focus on myself. So im going out there and make this last battle count.

***If this chapter is very confusing please let me know. Its 3am and im sitting here channeling my emotions and trying to make sense of it as well. Please no negative comments, but if you cant help it inbox me. Thanks!***