Where Your Nightmares Lie

Chapter 8 | The Liars

"I'm excited to see what your costume is," Asella comments excitedly, leading the way toward the meal area. "Miss. Lorde has always done a great job with costumes."

"She is passionate," I comment, my thoughts still circling around the Ringmaster. "It's quite inspiring to see someone driven by their talents."

"Yes... very." Asella fixes her blood red hair before tying it into a high ponytail as she walks. "Anyway, I was very surprised when you lit yourself on fire. What's your secret?"

I smirk down at her before shaking my head. "A true magician never shares his secret."

She giggles in response, secretly smiling while looking ahead.

The setting sun is gold on the vast field of soft grass. Apricot orange and blood red streak the wispy clouds as the sky darkens. A cool breeze drifts over the field and rustles the few trees in the air which are vibrant with green life. We walk along a trail of flattened grass toward the white gazebo. Shadows of people mingle under its roof while others sit together on thick blankets around the structure holding empty plates.

"Everyone will be excited to meet you," she adds brightly. "I'm sure you're going to make many friends."

That's what I'm counting on.

I must earn their full trust in order to avoid suspicion. After all, this is still an act. In a month, I'll leave the Fallen Circus behind with wages in hand and this will be a faded memory. For my plan to be fully secured, I must be accepted as one of them. I can't afford to be outcasted by jealous performers. I must not gloat my talents, though it will be hard not to act as perfect as I actually am. I'll become "normal" so they can relate to me as an equal. It's all part of the act.

Slowly, I've been loosening my shy act in order to slip into a more comfortable role. Shy can be endearing but if overused, it will grow to be an annoying weakness and no one wants to be friends with a shy person. I must develop confidence throughout my time here and reveal other parts of my set personality with hints of the truth. Outgoing, kind to others, encouraging, smart, and amazingly talented. A shaky temper will have to slip into the mix in order to give my natural temper an excuse so I won't ruin the act. A simple man must have flaws to be relatable so I'll have to force myself to make a few mistakes.

Asella mistakes my silence for nervousness. She slows her walk with an encouraging smile. "Don't worry, I'm sure they'll like you. But just as a heads up, everyone is very close so you might be hugged a few times."

My heart jolts. I hide my discomfort, nodding instead. "Okay."

Why do people have to touch me? There's no reason to touch me. It's an invasion of personal space and frankly, it's awkward and uncomfortable. The feeling of someone else's skin on mine is disgusting. To feel the sweat on their palms, the tremble of their hands, their sour breath on my face-, no. I won't let anyone touch me again.

"We've been together for years," she begins to explain, "we've grown to be a family rather than a group of performers. Most of us lost our families a long time ago so we stick close together to replace the emptiness." She smiles warmly as she looks ahead.

Internally, I cringe at the sweet expression on her face. Asella is nice enough, but her innocence and kindness are too sweet for my taste. She is a heavy spoonful of thick frosting which I can't bear to swallow all together.

"That's nice."

"My partner, Aris, is more like a brother to me than anything-"

"Asella!" A young man sprints across the field with ivory white hair. It gleams in the sunlight making him hard to miss. He wears the same outfit Asella does with black pants and a white dress shirt. His black boots travel up to his knees making his legs longer. A large golden pocket watch dangles from his neck as he runs. Asella brightens at the sight of the young man and bursts ahead with open arms.