Silence (kakanaru)

Chapter 6

Warning: many mentions of violence, death and depressing thoughts. As if it could get worse... pffft

Why were his hands still? He stared and stared, unable to comprehend, unable to decipher. Yet it was plainly obvious. The tremours refused to resurface.

That was wrong; bad. The persistent tremble was a part of him, perhaps his greatest link to his own self, his past. To see it disappear was an ill omen. To know that memories over the past week were hazy- some even blank, completely missing- was worse. Surely my health isn't deteriorating this fast?

Kakashi noticed his troubles, but remained oblivious to the gaps. Hisato was thankful for the slight piece of privacy. He didn't need to heft another load of problems onto his friend's shoulders. But the biggest things could never escape the Hatake's penetrating gaze.

Hands hovered over his, searching. Hisato tilted his head to meet Kakashi's concerned expression.

"Are you alright?" he asked. No. I'm not.

Hisato nodded nonchalantly. Kakashi, like he had been for a few days, looked sceptical at the answer.

Then he was struck with an irresistible urge to go somewhere. Alone. He stood abruptly and left Kakashi behind in the room without a word.

........................................

Kakashi wasn't dumb. He was far from it, thank you very much.

The last week had been confusing. More so than usual, considering the events of close to a month ago.

Hisato was distant, withdrawn. He would disappear for hours, basically vanish from existence, from Kakashi's reach. And he gave no answer for it.

Where are you going? He so dearly wanted to ask when Hisato cleared from sight once more. But he held back, unable to ask. He couldn't even think of a single explanation, a theory as to the aloof behaviour.

Some days, like the recent visit to the Jounin Lounge, Hisato's personality would do a one-eighty. From anti-social, anxious and exhausted, to suddenly confident and fearless. Hisato was fearless in battles, sure. The missions they took together proved that. Around the other Konoha shinobi thought? Not so much.

When Hisato had used Shikaku's interrogation as a way to surprise the Commander, take advantage of the distractions the questions caused, Kakashi immediately knew something was different.

.......................................

Hisato took off his sandals, slipping his feet into the loose dirt. He dug his toes and breathed in at the feeling. The next steps brought him closer to the earth. Each stab of a twig on the underside of his feet connected him further with an intoxicating pain. He ambled along in a drunken stupor, not really noticing where he was going.

The albatross of his past did its best to follow, but Hisato's mind paid it no heed. This is the present, and the past can only hold him hostage. The knowledge of the future also shackled his emotions, but it granted him power. Knowledge of the future is to give one control over their own fate, and that was the power Hisato desperately sought.

He moved more slowly now, honing in on the feel of the earth, of the music that now resonated from his woodpipes. Half-demon, the notes sang. Swift and telling, the forewarning of his onslaught. And as the beat stayed a hasty pace, Hisato's steps danced along.

Dust from his sliding feet rose in small waves, lingering at his hips. This is my song. And beside the tune came a pounding beat, orchestrated by his bare soles and tapping fingers. It was an ancient tune, as expected of its demonic origins.