Silence (kakanaru)

Chapter 11

Worry resonated off of Hisato. It had done so since they had awoken at dawn, and had continued to pour out of him all through breakfast.

Kakashi gazed at Hisato's tense grip on the chopsticks, threatening to snap. Hisato chewed at his lip and gazed off into nothing, reminding Kakashi of the early months of Hisato's arrival when they had first met; always anxious, always thinking about something. It terrified Kakashi that Hisato had reverted back to the quiet worrying, which had been absent for almost two weeks now. Realistically, Kakashi knew Hisato would not recover from this constant state of anxiety any time soon, and that those two weeks had been a brief, yet happy, respite.

It was too common to find Hisato deep within tempestuous thoughts, be it too nervous, or wondering about his next jutsu or seal. Kakashi admitted his own similarity to the state, though he certainly did a better job at masking it.

Hisato's violet eyes are murky from being out of focus. After seeing this behaviour for months, Kakashi could almost guess the source of his friend's—partner's?—concern.

"Whatever you think might happen, it's been averted," Kakashi said in what he hoped was a reassuring manner. "Indulge in the peace you have brought us." It successfully snapped Hisato back into reality, eyes sharpening and focused, but the fierce tension had yet to dissipate.

Kakashi winced as Hisato turned away from him, eyes closed and shoulders tensed. What are you feeling so hurt for, he wondered.

"Don't give me false hope." Hisato was weary when he spoke, pronunciation slow and heavy, signing the words simultaneously. Kakashi could not help his confusion. Both of them were pessimists, Kakashi more so, and he understood the reluctance of allowing oneself to feel the slightest inkling of hope; he had never had a chance at hope, himself, when everyone he loved had been taken too quickly to do anything but grieve and regret. But the peace is more assured and Kakashi had been able to lower his guard a small amount.

Kakashi sighed, exasperated by Hisato's selflessness. Always worrying about others, never himself... Kakashi would threaten Hisato about the dangers of it. Alas, many Konohan shinobi shared the same trait, himself included, though those less known than Hisato and Kakashi had never won themselves a reputation to the extent of their selflessness as he and Hisato had.

He dragged his body out of the chair and around to Hisato, laying his hands on Hisato's stiff shoulders. Kakashi dug his fingers in, easing Hisato into a relaxed posture. "You've done so much already," he scolded.

Warmth captured Kakashi's hands and he met Hisato's gaze, staring widely up at him. There was an edge of fright to his demeanour, fear of a far-off concept. Why can't you see how much you achieved? Kakashi sensed the emotions running in Hisato and increased the pressure.

"I know—" Hisato's hands faltered in the air. Kakashi smiled fondly as he attempted to translate the signs from his position, stretching his neck to see over Hisato's messy hair and missing half of the words. They were too hard to guess at. Hisato saved him from his trouble.

"Of course I know that, damn it!" The raised voice was uncharacteristic of Hisato, and Kakashi pulled back for a moment. Protectiveness overcame him and he resumed his massage. Hisato stared down again, presumably at his trembling hands. He gestured for Kakashi to crouch beside him, and Hisato twisted his body for Kakashi to fully see his expressions. "What if it's not enough," Hisato signed. "What if we failed, and everyone is going to di—"

Kakashi cut him off with a kiss, grasping Hisato's hands in his own. He felt slightly guilty at his chosen method, but Hisato quivered beneath his touch, and the guilt drifted away.

"Hisato," Kakashi said, pulling back and bringing his hand up to stroke at crimson hair; hair that was finally regaining some of its lustrous red at the roots. He smiled as hisato covered his face with his forest green scarf. "You've done more than enough," Kakashi repeated.