How To Love

46

{*Fair warning, this chap contains a scene with a little extra description that some of you younger readers may not need to be reading. Just putting that out there*}
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Dayveon POV

"DJ..."

"Mama please don't touch me right now." I mumbled, keeping my head paced in my hands while my elbows rested against the counter top. "I don't wanna hurt you."

"DJ what happened?" She asked, ignoring what I said to her.

"Mama... I swear I didn't cheat. I swear on daddy's grave that I didn't do that to her." I mumbled, trying me best to get my breathing back under control, but I was still pissed. My breathing was beyond heavy and my fingers continued to grip my hair.

"Well DJ-"

"Anthony." I mumbled and looked up, seeing him still standing there like he was still trying to process what happened. "Anthony you were there, you know what happened. You have to talk to her Ant. Please, you have to talk to her."

"I- Okay." He nodded and scratched the back of his neck. "Like.. now or... I mean, she seems highly pissed and both of you just said some shit to each other... maybe we should give her a chance to calm down and let you chill for a second."

"I can't fuckin' chill while she's back there thinking some stupid shit!" I snapped.

"DJ, calm down." Mama spoke. "What even happened?"

"When we was at the club the other night, we saw Nessa-"

"Awe hell, Dayveon." She frowned. "You know how sneaky that girl is."

"I know, mama. But I swear I didn't do nothing with her. She was hitting on me so we left and that was it."

"Well I get that... but how do you think it looks in Carmen's eyes?" She asked. "You put your shirt that had this girls smell and makeup all over it in the dirty clothes, expecting her not to find it and think something of it? She got cheated on in her past relationship a million times, Dayveon. You can't blame her for thinking something like this when she found that shirt. Any woman would think the way she is."

"But mama, I told her I didn't cheat. She knows me and she knows I would never do that to her."

"Maybe she does, but you know the way she thinks. Her brain is wired a certain way and we all know that. It's hard for her to trust, Dayveon. You know that more than any of us."

Nodding my head, I just stared down at the counter and sighed heavily as I closed my eyes, trying to get my anger back under control, because right now I didn't want to do anything else but punch something. All I wanted to do was fight, but in a physical way.

"I can't believe I fucked up like this, bro." I mumbled to myself.

It was literally moments like this, moments where my emotions were so powerful that I wanted nothing more than to just smoke a blunt or drink a bottle of Henny to get this shit to go away. But I knew I couldn't do that. That shit was like my anchor. I relied so heavily on weed that even after I stopped, I had to find an anchor much stronger than a drug. And that was Carmen. Whenever I was feeling like this or the slightest bit upset, I ran straight to her because she was the only one I felt like I could talk to about anything without her judging me in any way. But right now, I didn't have her to run to, which made me want to do nothing more than to run to a drug.