sexual tension | ethan dolan | discontinued

sixteen

lucky number 8

—❉—

"ethan" i say to him as i lace my fingers with his as we drive down the highway back to the apartment building from the beach

"hmm" he says looking at me for a second "tell me about you" i say and he looks confused "what do you mean" he says "tell me about you, like tell me about your fears or dreams or your childhood or how many people you've slept with, i don't know, just tell me about you" i say and play with his fingers

"okay well i did wrestling, played football and lacrosse when i was younger, my dad died of cancer when i was 19, my middle name is grant, i've slept with uhhh off the top of my head, 8 people, ummm i'm scared of death, snakes and thunderstorms and my dreams are marrying you and having a future with you" he says and my heart aches as he said he lost his dad but i get butterflies when he says he sees me in his future so i kiss his knuckles

"i'm sorry, i didn't know about your dad" i say "it's fine, i accepted it a while ago" he says "one, thunderstorms really? and who are the 8 people" i ask him as he pulls into the complex

"thunderstorms are so scary, i get so anxious and my first time was with my ex girlfriend, lily when i was 16 then after we broke up i became kind of a whore and then bam i had five more bodies then i decided to not be an asshole and i had a girlfriend when i was 21 and we dated for a year and a half and you're lucky number 8 baby"

the fact that he was telling me these things made me feel so much closer to him in a way even though i asked him

we made it up to his apartment and we laid in his bed "what about you, short stack" i laughed at his nickname he gave me "my childhood was hell, my dad left after i was born, i never met him, my mom was with my stepdad till about a few years ago but he was abusive and jay was my body guard though it all, he took my hits, he took the blame when something happened so i wouldn't get hit, that's why we're so close today" i start and he looks sad and he holds my hand

"i'm scared of bugs and small spaces and older men, i just get really tense around them, my middle name is jade, my dreams are to become a psychologist for rape victims and help them, i see the same things as you baby, i have 7, well i guess 8 too, i was kind of a whore too, there was my boyfriend when i was 17, then when i was 19 his name was chris, then i had my whore stage and had four more where i had sex on a plane like i told you before, then you're number 7 baby boy" i say and smile "wait, you said i'm 7 but you said there's 8" he says and i close my eyes

"uhh, i-i was raped when i was 12, by my stepdad that's why i don't like men, i say my first time was when i was 17 because it was my first consensual time" i say "that's why i want to help the rape victims because i can help them because i lived it" i say and he looks so sad "i'm so sorry babygirl" he looks like he's going to cry "it hurts me to think someone would hurt you" tears roll down his face and i frown and wipe them "baby stop, i'm fine now" he croaks out "i know but it still hurts" i wipe his tears away again and peck his lips "i love you"

"i love you more"