The Will to Love

Chapter Eight

A swift kick to her chair had Jaymes flying to the ground. The stack of paperwork beneath her had stuck to her cheeks, her own saliva being the glue holding the two together. Jaymes shook off the grog and lifted her head to glance up at her sister towering over her.

"We're late." Ryan said before stalking towards the door and shrugging on her jacket. Jaymes stared after her sister with disbelief and annoyance. Ryan had returned from her trip just a day after the exhibit. She'd hoped that her sister would be in better spirits but a nasty fight with Ryan after Jaymes picked her up late from the airport had them right back at point A.

"Don't be a fucking bitch." Jaymes flung a pillow at Ryan. She gathered the paperwork and carefully set it down on the table, making sure that the edges lined up perfectly. She strode back inside her bedroom for her shoes and jacket. After she finished dressing, Jaymes waited a beat to catch her breath. In that moment, the culmination of long hours at work, a growing workload, and the pressure to temper her nerves around her parents and Robin bore down heavily upon her shoulders. If she had the strength, she might have cried as she'd done a few times earlier in the week. The tears seemed to have dried within her, leaving only a stinging hollowness. Her sister still giving her the cold shoulder did little to help her but Jaymes was determined to make things right before the week's end.

Grabbing her things, she strode into the living room and brushed past Ryan into the hallway. Ryan locked up as Jaymes got a head start down towards the elevators. As she stepped onto the elevator car, she reached forward to press the button down to the first level before she glanced up and noticed Ryan walking towards her with quick strides. She removed her finger from the glass and held the door open with an outstretched arm.

"Thanks." Ryan murmured.

They stood on opposite ends of the elevator car before Jaymes broke the silence. "Really?" She scoffed. "You're seriously mad at me... over a man? Don't you think this is a bit immature... for the both of us?" The doors sprang open. Neither sister moved, except to maintain an unwavering glare. It took three people entering the car for both Jaymes and Ryan to move and start towards the exit.

They walked in silence out to the underground garage and into Ryan's car, carefully put on their seatbelts and started the car. "It's not about this Nicholas guy. Not really at least." Ryan finally spoke up. "I feel like you shut me out of your life, okay?" She rushed out the words before reversing the car and speeding out of the parking garage.

Jaymes sat there quietly, suddenly unsure of what to say. "But..." She began, but no words followed. Ryan knew everything about her... didn't she? "I tell you everything." She said, careful to say the right thing, whatever the "right thing" was.

"No." Ryan laughed sardonically. "You don't. You know, you spent years complaining about how Robin would up and leave you on a whim or shut you out and you do the same thing. You two are the same."

Jaymes fell back onto the seat. There was a mounting pressure in her chest that rose with every breath. She couldn't breathe and what little she could have said to ease the tension escaped her. Ryan didn't stop. She continued on her rant with sharp, hurtful words. "You shut everyone out. Me, mom, dad. It's not about this Nicolas guy. I was already annoyed but that little thing just got to me... okay? I kept on thinking, hm, maybe she'll confide in me. You kept fingering that card he put in your pocket. You were in a funk after that meeting but you didn't come to me. You talk to Diana or Jorja or Candace if you're going through something and then I'm left to find out about it from them. We're not close." There was the final blow. It felt like what Jaymes had believed was an impenetrable and carefully structured reality had come crashing around her with those final words. She looked to her sister for signs of an irrational anger but all she found was a cool antipathy. Ryan wasn't ranting as she was stating straight facts. They'd had this fight only once before, when their parents had reunited.