The Will to Love

Chapter Nine

"I don't want you to go." The words came out rushed and slurred. Her limbs were heavy from the early morning grog and the frizzy curls bursting from the silk cap and covering her eyes shielded Robin from her eyesight. Tiredness overcame her and Jaymes fell back onto the bed, framed by the soft throne of pillows and blankets. Robin turned to her after he'd finished dressing. His eyes already told her what she needed to know.

"I know it's on a whim and I promised to take you to that circus show that's in town but it's a really impor—"

"We already made plans, Robin." Jaymes said through gritted teeth. Despite the tiredness aching in her bones, she pushed herself up to an upright position and leaned forward to get a good look at Robin. "I was understanding enough when you hopped on a flight last week to Tokyo instead of coming over with me to help plan my parent's anniversary dinner, like you promised but this is getting ridiculous." Jaymes took in a quick breath to ease her frustration. It felt like the old Robin was returning and she didn't know what to do to stop the impending train wreck from happening. Just the thought of things ending the way they had before built up a painful pressure in her chest that left her breathless.

He walked around casually about the room as if her words meant nothing. now and then, he'd throw another excuse out; "You have to understand, this is important for my work." being the most frequently used. "Hey," Robin held onto her arm as she gingerly stood up from bed. "I swear this is the last time. It's just—some business I need to take care of for three, four months at the most. After that, it's just you and me." He promised. Jaymes looked into his eyes and suddenly felt the urge to laugh. She didn't believe him. She wrenched her arm away from his grip and strode into her bathroom. She locked the door when she heard him following her. His steps faltered for before the sound of his footsteps being carried away replaced the brief silence. Once she was sure he'd left, Jaymes slid down onto the floor. Head in her hands, she let out the first frustrated tear. Work was tearing her apart, her sister was still not talking to her and what encouragement she should have gotten from Robin, she hadn't yet.

"Love, stability and peace of mind my ass." Jaymes whispered. There was that cold wind again, brushing against her skin and leaving goosebumps in its leave. "Okay, so what do you want me to do Meira? Give the man ultimatums?" Jaymes asked.

"Who are you talking to?" Robin shouted from the opposite side.

"Um—God!" She scrambled up and turned on the faucet. She looked up at the ceiling and whispered her apologies to the big man. She undressed and stepped into the shower. Within minutes, she knew the rush of steaming water would do little to ease her nerves. She finished up and stepped back into her room.

Robin sat on the bed, patiently waiting her return. He watched her carefully as she dressed for the day. While it was only the middle of September, the winter chill had already arrived. By the time Jaymes and Robin stepped out of her apartment, they were both bundled up in thick wool coats and scarves. They kept their hands in their pockets and their noses pressed to the turned up lapels of their coats.

They drove on their way to Lisa's home in the suburbs of Baygrove Park. It was an affluent black suburb, rich with its own history and filled with Victorian styled brick homes each between two to three stories high. Lisa and her husband Victor's home sat on the right end of Berry lane, decorated nicely with pumpkins on the front lawn and sculpted hedges.

"Wow. They really upgraded." Jaymes noted, as Robin drove them onto the lot and through the winding gravel lane.

"Yeah." Robin snickered. "It helps to be a CCO and surgeon."

They parked the car outside and walked the remaining steps to the front door. Robin rang the brass lion head door knob while Jaymes stood quiet and patient behind him. As Jaymes stared at Robin, she knew he wanted to break the silence as much as she did. Their quick sideways glances at each other said as much. The awkward tension and nervous shifting around did. Maybe he wanted her to understand his "need" to travel for his business. As things stood between them currently, what he saw as a need, she saw as an unnecessary nuisance. The matter of whether she was being unreasonable still nagged at her conscience. If she had the opportunity to travel for work with the promise of advancement in her career, she'd jump at the opportunity; she'd discuss things with Robin first, but she'd jump at the opportunity.