T.H. Mini Series

For Sheena: A One Shot - Do I?

For Sheena_Stalwart ❤️

You locked the bathroom door and sank onto the cold tiles.

Just breathe Sheena. In and out, in and out. Everything's fine, you're just in your head. Everything is fine.

"Sheena, you alright in there?"

"Yes Mom. Fine". You didn't sound fine, your voice strangled.

Just breathe, in and out. Everything will be just fine.

But would it? There had been problem after problem today; the flowers weren't what you'd ordered, the church had double booked, and someone had blabbed to the paparazzi. Everyone was in a flurry downstairs trying to resolve everything, doing their utmost to be helpful, offering you phrases like "Don't worry about a thing, today is your day!".

And now you were on the bathroom floor resisting the urge to crawl out of the window and run away.

It was all happening so fast. One minute, Tom's on bended knee asking you to spend the rest of your life with him, then the next everyone's in your living room getting ready for your wedding. It felt like you blinked and suddenly the day was here.

Was Tom struggling like you, overwhelmed and terrified? Unlikely. You could practically see him now, having some beers with the boys, laughing and joking around.

"I love Tom" you chanted to yourself, voice shaky as it echoed off the tiles, "I love Tom, I do, I do, I -". Your throat closed around the words.

Do I? Do I love Tom? Do I want to marry him? Do I? Do I?

Maybe you two had rushed into this. You'd dated for over two years long distance, which had included scheduled Skype calls, forgotten time-zones and tearful arguments over who's family to spend Christmas with. Countless long-haul flights for brief, albeit dizzyingly passionate, reunions, before Tom had started asking you to move in with him, which had meant moving to London and leaving behind everything you'd ever known.

It had been a terrifyingly enormous step forward in, not only your relationship, but life itself, and it had taken Tom some four months of patient, and not so patient, reassurance and encouragement to get you to leave America; and him paying for Missy and Mila to be brought over, including the quarantine period for both animals.
Fortunately, living together had been smooth sailing, despite the fact that Tom was always coming and going. You'd found a better job in London than what you'd ever been offered in the U.S, helping to make the transition that much smoother. When Tom had proposed, you'd accepted without hesitation, seeing it as the natural progression of your relationship, unfazed by the enormity of the decision.

Until today, that was.

As your mind spiralled further into a full blown panic attack, there was a knock at the door.

"Just a minute!" you cried, furiously wiping your eyes.

"S, it's me. Can I come in?"

You leapt off the floor, flinging the door open and throwing yourself at Tom.

"Hey, it's ok, it's ok, I'm here" he soothed, arms around you as he awkwardly walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He stroked your hair, lips pressed into the top of your head as he gently swayed side to side, and for the first time that day you breathed deeply, relaxing into him.

"I'm so glad you're here" you mumbled into his chest. You hated how tremulous your voice sounded, how your mind continued to betray you at the most inopportune times.