hospital beds {remington leith short story}

six

When I peel my eyes open, Remington is vigilant at my beside, as he always is. He immediately springs up, pressing the nurse call button at my side with his thumb and caressing my cheek with his opposite hand. "Hey, sweets. You're intubated, don't speak." Remington's voice is soft as ever, almost careful as he presses his lips to my forehead. "We'll get that tube out and you'll be all good to go, I love you."

A doctor enters my room, most likely an attending. He smiles at me, explaining what he's going to do as he pulls on gloves. I've had this done more times than I can remember; every time I lose consciousness I become intubated and rely on machines to breathe for me. When my body is somewhat shut off, I can't feel the intubation. The feeling of tubes sliding down my throat is numb to me. However, when it's due time for the tubes to be removed from my esophagus, I'm fully aware of every sensation....and I don't like it one bit.  

"Once it's out, I want you to take a deep breath, okay?" I nod. The heel of the doctor's hand presses down on my sternum, while the other grabs the end of the tube in my throat. I try to breathe through my nose, but fighting my machine is pointless. It's on a low setting, but I still can't override it myself. 

With a quick tug and a push on my chest, the tube is freed from my airway. A rush of cold air touches my lungs, and I immediately cough. I'm helped to a full sitting position as I continue coughing on the fresh air. "Hey, hey....you're okay." Remington soothes. He rubs my back in wide, careful circles. "Calm down....take it slow, baby."

"C-Can't," I let out, almost wheezing. 

"Yes, you can. I believe in you. C'mon, baby, sh."

I suck in another deep breath, begging my lungs to adjust. I don't want to be intubated again, especially awake. I close my eyes, trying to calm down and focusing on my deep breaths. It seems to get easier, and I sigh, leaning back into Remington. "There you go," He hums of praise, kissing my cheek. 

"We're gonna fit you with a cannula, just to take some of that pressure off your lungs." I nod, still feeling quite winded. Tubing wraps around both my ears, finally meeting at  my nostrils. The oxygen feed is high, immediately relieving some of the pressure on my lungs. "Try that out, and call if anything gets worse or doesn't feel right." Remington thanks him on my behalf, and the doctor leaves. 

"You're doing good, baby." Remington smiles reassuringly, leaning in to kiss me. I allow the meeting of our lips, immediately melting into it. I missed kissing him. 

"How long was I down?" I ask once we pull apart. 

"About two days, it's okay. You're back now, that's what matters." His fingers dance over my scalp, mimicking the motions of racking through my hair, except that I lack. "You've got a chemo today, so no feeding for you. We don't need you aspirating on us."

"Look at you with those medical terms, fancypants." I poke his stomach, scrunching up my nose, still not used to the foreign cannula. I keep my hand on his stomach, slipping it beneath his shirt and rubbing the skin there. I hum, dragging my nails along his abs lightly. "You're pretty. And hot. Pretty hot."

"Thank you, princess." Remington rolls his eyes, a slight blush tinting his cheeks. "Really appreciate it; totes." 

I feel happiness bubbling in my chest as I giggle, grabbing Remington's cheeks and pulling him down to kiss me. Our lips collide in a burst of fireworks, stirring the pits of my stomach. I'm so in love with him. 

I did not know love like this existed. I cannot stop thinking those thoughts, but it is every bit true. How am I so lucky to love this man? 

"You're my favorite, sweetheart." Remington hums as we pull away. "You're so amazing." I smile, leaning up to kiss his head. "Get your rest; sleep, baby." I hum, continuing to trail my fingers along his cheekbones. "I'll be here when you wake. I love you."

"I love you, too." My voice is barely a whisper, it is somewhat angelic as it hangs in the air. I hum, dropping my hand from his face and closing my eyes.