hospital beds {remington leith short story}

seven

If he is Romeo, I am Juliet. If I possess the beauty of Cleopatra as he claims, then he is my Mark Antony. Together we are Adam and Eve, a beautiful couple. The difference between our love and that of these famous couples, is ours is not on display. Our love is confined to the walls of this hospital, our story not to be remembered by future generations to come. Our love is between us and those most important to us, and that is what matters. 

Love is a concept I never thought I would find. Who would want me? I was always uglier, dumber, and less coveted over than my peers. Throughout school, I always found myself the butt of each joke. I was bullied relentlessly my whole school career. When I met Remington, he never cared about my past. He loved me for who I was; though I still find myself unsure what he sees in me. He is as stunning as the stars, and I am far from. If he is the whole Earth, I am simply the dirt all humankind walks on. I do not deserve Remington's presence in my life, I am lucky beyond belief. 

Our love story would be one remembered forever....if we were popular. If we had a reality television show on MTV, perhaps my funeral would be days long and cause cars to flood the streets. In reality, I would be surprised if twenty people showed up to mourn me. Most of them would be family members, close and distant (though all seem distant now), Remington's family members (seemingly foreign to him too, but closer than my relatives), and maybe the doctors who treated me over the years. I would soon be forgotten. When those who grieved me pass on to join me in the afterlife, my story will die with them. I do not have the luxury of living on forever in history, my history ends with my heart. 

The beautiful man of my dreams sleeps at my side. It is the middle of the night, two in the morning to be exact, but I cannot sleep. My mind is as wild as a rollercoaster. My every thought is consumed by Remington....how much I love the boy I call mine. He is mine, and I am his. Every part of me belongs to the man at my side. I would give my life if it meant his happiness, but my death will only bring him sadness. I worry about that daily....for I never know what will be my last hours. 

I wish I could return to sleep, but my mind is too stimulated now. I am racing with thoughts, it is too late now. I reach my hand out to grab Remington's face. He is tranquil, peaceful as he sleeps. I know I should leave him be (he does not get much rest anymore) but I cannot help myself. He is a man of such beauty, and I am a woman who possesses pure unsightliness. With my bald head (save a few random strands of brown hair, reminding me of what I once had), caved in face, and darkened skin surrounding my eyes I am not the greatest sight in the world. The tubes and IVs entering and exiting my body at various points does not help in my appearance. 

I know Remington wants children. That is my only thought as I trail my fingers down his cheeks. Knowing I cannot give him that evokes one emotion.....pain. You can see how his eyes light up at the mention of a family, at the sight of a baby, at the mention of him being a father. Then slowly, his emotion shifts. Realization hits him, and he becomes sad at the fact we all know. I will never be able to give him a child....for multiple reasons. In addition to chemotherapy and radiation making me completely sterile, death looming over me would make it unsafe for me to carry anyways.

 Remington would always remain faithful to me....even in my every darkest moment. I will never deny that fact.He has hardly left my side since illness took over. With most money going to the  treatments of mine not covered by insurance (we spare little for food, transportation, and other basic necessities), adoption or surrogacy are simply not options. He is forced to wait until after I die to have a family of his own. He deserves little ones, my man so good with children, but that I cannot provide. 

My little love stirs in his sleep, eyelids fluttering. At the second I go to remove my hands from his face, his hands grasp my wrists and his eyes peel themselves open. "Kayla," He hums. "Sweetheart, why are you awake?" Remington's morning voice rings through my ears, making my mind smile. 

"Chemo brain," I sigh. "Couldn't sleep longer. You get your rest; sorry for waking you."

"No," He shakes his head. The grogginess and hoarseness of his voice make it seem almost to a whisper. "I want to spend every waking moment with you. Emphasis on the waking. You're awake; let's make some memories."

We exchange smiles, and I pull his face to mine. For a moment, time does not matter. Rather in the early morning hours or those in the day, our love never ends. Cheesy, I know, but so is our love. I never knew I could experience adoration like this until it waltzed into my life....with black hair and sparking teeth. 

My Remington Leith fulfills every fantasy tweenage me dreamed about after reading pathetic romance novels. He is my dream, and for him I thank the stars.