My Peripheral View

My Peripheral View Part 3

Nel's writing - while sitting comfortably behind the steering wheel of his vintage Chevy convertible.

The park is located near the lake but not too far from the city. This is where he usually resign himself from a long day of rehearsals and performance from the other night. You can see a green wide plains and a golden orange sky kissing the water into a pale reflection of red and gray. It's a panoramic view that he admires in this place. It helped him a lot when he was trying to get through with the painful situation for losing Melissa, his girlfriend since high school.

He had a song written just before she died. But Nel is reluctant to even put them on paper again. The original copy was soaked in blood, dried faded ink mixed in tears.

I look in your eyes

Shed me some light tonight

I need to understand

I need a hand to hold on tight.

Is it a memory or a dream,

I saw you standing near

Face to face, a glimpse of you and me

Fading in shadows in grim.

'I Look at you doing that

I ignore you but I'm tearing apart.

I Look at you, tell me what

I hear you and your sweet laugh.

Look at me, I pretend not looking at

I watch you step up

I look at you doing that

I look at your eyes, oh so bright.

Look at me, I'm tearing apart

As I look at you in a snap

You're a sunshine in the dark.

I look at you and I found the light

I look at you like all of my life

But when you look at me

I look like you're not around

I look like, you're not in my heart...

After few minutes, it's just another crumpled paper he tossed into the lake. He pushed his thoughts away.

It's 6 o'clock and I'm waiting for her to arrive. I'm here at the park where I used to watch her rehearse her speech and write her drafts. Today, no sign of her on the other side of the park. I decided it's time to go home.

~~

Nellie's

I ran to the park, breathlessly hoping I would still see him. The bench where he usually sit down is empty. Did he go to the park today? He must be very busy. Next week, I got a ticket for a music video they will shoot for a movie soundtrack. They're stepping up to the next level. A spotlight he never dreamed of but he got used to in the past three years.

I'm so excited to see him. Will he recognize me? Or ignore me just like he always did?

Last time, I finally got the strength to approach him. I wasn't thinking at all when I let him sign a poster and just left without a word. He seemed not to care. I think I got him annoyed with how I broke the silence. He seems a quiet person and I felt embarrassed to talk to him. I felt so nervous but it's all worth it when I saw what he'd written on the poster.

'See you around... - Always, Nelly'

~~