My Peripheral View

My Peripheral View Part 4

Nellie - At the Big Theater stage

I'm in the middle of the crowd watching and cheering your band. You're standing next to the keyboard and drums. You're wearing a gray scarf band that you wrap around your forehead. The strands of your hair sways in the corner of your eyes as you play the guitar.

The camera would catch you closing your eyes as your fingers tap the guitar string. You bend backwards as the chorus reached the highlights of your performance.

I'm calling out your name but it's impossible for you to hear me... It's impossible that your eyes would lay on me.

My friends agreed to watch this concert , part of the music video shoot, because Ron and Sue are both Paul's avid fan. Paul, the band vocalist and keyboard player, signed my friends' shirt and cap when I had an interview with him last year. It's an interview assignment from the University publication where I write Featured News and updates.

I'm working on a local magazine publication while taking my masters in Behavioral Science at the city University. I didn't realize until I approached Nelson that he went to the same University in 2016. Same year they graduated when I heard of the news about a newly-graduate Engineering student who had died in a car accident.

I learned that it's his girlfriend who died in the accident. It must have been so painful for him. Three years had passed and I think he's still lingering in pain.

I watch him alone in the park. I knew it was him. Always looking afar, he must have been so lonely after the tragic event. Behind his shades, I can feel the tears forming in the corner of his lashes. The same spot he goes where I can watch him play his guitar in a deep mellow sound.

Now, he's surrounded by a large crowd. He seems unreachable and impossible to touch. I want to touch his shy, calm face but I know it's not going to happen. How will I ever get near him again. He hadn't visited the park for the last three days. I must have got him annoyed when I asked him for a poster sign that I was carrying the whole time. Until I got the strength to approach him. Will I ever get near him today? I should do something to get noticed...

It's about the end of their performance but the fans had dominated the Big Theater. They were carrying banners and posters of the band. I'm trying to get near them but the huge crowd just won't permit me to move around. I need to get near the stage at least.

Hopeless, I scream out and move up to the Theater chair. I know it's dangerous but I really don't care. I need to create a scene so I would be noticed. I jumped from one chair to another until I was standing near the speakers. To my amazement, I jumped out of the barricades and almost got near the stage.

I didn't saw it coming. A huge pipe let out a technicolor smoke and I was in front of the target. All of a sudden, I see different colors mixing in the air and I can hardly breathe.I'd been Asthmatic since I was a kid. I felt suffocated when I almost inhaled the smoke. I fainted near the stage and the last thing I know was a commotion build up.

I can hear Sue and Ron calling my name. "Janelle!' Nellie wake up!"

~~

They rushed Nellie to the nearest hospital. How can she be so crazy moving up to the stage? I saw her approaching the stage but I focused on our performance. I thought she's not around because I can't see her in the crowd. Then I just saw her fell on her knees. She couldn't breathe with the thick coloured smoke. What was she thinking?

I hurriedly run to her. Holding her hand and paving the way so the medic can check her. Paul decided to cut the performance because of the incident. I lift her in my arms while waiting for the stretchers. I'm not supposed to do it but I was so worried and felt helpless when everyone was just staring at her.

''Nellie can you hear me?'' I called her name. I realized Paul and Jessy both looking at me like the bell ring to them. ''Nellie?'' Jessy asked. She smiled when she asked me but I asked the Nurse to check her vital signs or maybe give Nellie some inhaler or oxygen.

We went back to the dressing room after Nellie was headed to the hospital. Can we go there and check with her? I asked Alfred, our manager. He assured me that he'll take care of everything.

Santi, my personal assistant tried to calm me down by offering a hot tea. I was trembling and everyone was just wondering who the hell is this girl 'Nellie' and why am I so affected.

I told Jessy about her. How I was mesmerized when I first saw her in a campus concert we did last year. I told her about all afternoons I spent watching her in my peripheral view at the City Lake park.

"Gosh, Nel you're in love with her!" Jessy announced. To be honest, I didn't realized until she told me so.

I'll go to the hospital tomorrow morning, as early as I can. Probably, I'll bring flowers, too.

At the hospital...

"Hi, I'm sorry, did I wake you up?" I asked as she open up her eyes. She has an oxygen mask so I know she could answer. She shook her head and smile at me. Her hazel eyes look at me like she's so amazed to see me in the hospital room. I'm so much relieved to see her well now. I sat on the chair beside the table where I put the flowers ( white roses). She's still smiling and pointed on the drawer. I opened to see a notebook and a pen.

She writes...

"I'm so glad you're here"

She would pass it on and I'll give it back to her...

"I think I did a great job. I caught your attention!" Nellie wrote with a smile.

"You're crazy!" I shook my head and look at her. "You don't have to do that..." I let out a sigh and continue what I'm about to tell her. "You already got my attention even before I signed in your poster".

"Look, I think you are wonderful and sweet but you don't have to risk your safety just to get near us. I felt so worried. I'd never felt so worried since..." I had to stop because I don't know if I need to tell her this.

"Promise me you won't do such a crazy thing again. Get well, we'll catch up at the park okay?"

She have a teary hazel eyes when she heard what I just told her. She nod as I kissed her forehead. I had long to do this gesture. Just as I felt her warmth as I press my lips on her forehead makes my heart beat fast. I can still feel her skin even when I get outside the hospital premises.

I decided to take a long drive while celebrating this feeling of serenity. I never felt this way after what had happened three years ago. I have to forgive myself but I couldn't forget the horrible feeling. The picture of Melissa bathing in her own blood just tears me up inside. I wanted to save her but I couldn't move. I was helpless. I don't want to feel helpless anymore. I could have saved her life but I couldn't help myself as well. I'm afraid it would happen again. It's what I felt when Nellie fainted at the concert. I couldn't lose one more life, in my life.

I'm having deep thoughts as I exit the city traffic and drive straight to the woodland area. Early morning breeze and a perfect view by the Lake, it takes nature to calm me down. I smiled unconsciously while thinking about how sweet it would be to hang at the park with Nellie.

Finally, I can return her stupid blue-ink pen. I got a feeling of real excitement growing in my heart. I kissed her pen. "Thanks to you, little pen! I'll pick her up in the hospital tomorrow".

Not yet the end, but a new Chapter shall begin...