18 "I've missed you, Em."

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Tara's mom is pretty laid back when it comes to parties and special celebrations.

She's allowed us use of her living room, dining room and kitchen to celebrate my birthday and I couldn't appreciate it more.

Although, I kind of despise the fact I'm another year older, I'm actually enjoying myself and that in itself is a miracle.

I haven't seen Hunter yet, but it's still early.

Tara and a few other girls from the cheerleading squad turned up, a few jocks, Nick excluded were invited and brought another two kegs of beer and a load of stragglers I've barely spoken too have attended too.

Even the dreaded Ex Tony is here. It's fine though because we're on relatively good terms now.

We're civil and its a bonus he brought me a present.

Devon is here, and I must admit he looks good, he's laughing with Tara in the corner of the dining room while I talk with Katie, one of my friends and the school newspapers editor.

She's so bright and bubbly, her personality is infectious.

"Shit, you look a million dollars tonight Em, where you been hiding this figure, girl?" she says with a laugh. "You look incredible."

"Thanks Katie"

Tara worked hard to get me looking this good.

"So, where's Laura?" I ask and she shruggs but pulls an annoyed face at the same time. "Not speaking again huh?"

"Don't even get me started" she pouts her ruby red lips. "She's being all domineering again. I just can't with her right now."

Katie has been openly gay for as long as I can remember and everyone at school has been cool about it, but the problem is, Katie has never openly admitted it to her parents and her girlfriend Laura doesn't understand why.

I can understand her anxiety about the situation but at the same time, if it was me, I would just come out and say it. Her parents are her parents and they should still love her regardless.

"Anyway, happy birthday" Katie says handing me a small gift bag. "It's not much but I hope you like it"

"Thanks Katie" I smile sincerely.

"No problemo. I'm gonna go find alcohol. I need alcohol" she says before sauntering off in the direction of the kitchen.

I'm left standing there like a complete loner. I shuffle my way through the groups of people, allowing my feet to move in time to the music.

Today has been fun.

Tara surprised me with pancakes in bed and then took me to the salon, where we were primped and preemed.

I got my nails manicured, my eyebrows waxed and tinted and a new set of earrings to wear tonight.

I feel ecstatic. Theres not much that can bring me down at this moment in time, the only thing missing is the man I love.

Shit, it's crazy saying that.

I still haven't got my head around it.

I've been over thinking again. Does Hunter love me back? He's admitted he wants to be more than what we have been, and that he likes me but love? It's such a strong emotion.

I've never been in love before and I often find myself questioning if what I'm feeling is even real.

With Tony, it was exciting and new, he was my first serious boyfriend and a part of me will always love him, but only as my first.

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