The Hookup (Book #1)

22 "Truth or dare"

I pull away from him before the kiss has even really started. The hurt in his expression is evident and its like a punch to the gut.

"I'm sorry" I say quietly.

"No, no. It's not your fault. I shouldn't have kissed you" Hunter says moving away to give us both some well needed space. "I just, I got swept up in the moment."

"I just think we'd be better off if we didn't complicate things anymore that they already are." I tell him my reasoning for pulling away from his delicious lips. "We've already blurred so many lines, we agreed this was a one time thing, and we both made the mistake of continuing it and I fucked up..." I don't want to say the words, but I need him to understand the harsh reality of our situation. "I fucked up because I fell for you."

I swear I see a little hint of a smile but I ignore it. "We were never meant to become this" I gesture between the two of us.

"I can't help myself" He admits "When I'm with you, I just, everything feels good. I get all giddy inside, I know it sounds ridiculous because i'm not a ten year old little kid but it's true. You make everything better."

Hearing Hunter say things like that makes my heart soare and he's making it very difficult for me to refrain from jumping him right now.

"I want to be with you Emily" He says and I feel my heart tighten at his words. "Not just the way we have been, but I want everyone to know you're mine and I'm yours. I want to hold your hand and kiss you in public, and introduce you to new people as my girlfriend"

"Hunter" I say warningly. Of course it's incredible to hear him saying it but to actually make it a reality is a lot harder than it sounds.

Firstly, there's Tara to contend with. Sure, maybe after a few homicide attempts and a good few year, she might come round to the idea of me and her brother but then there's the fact he's a teacher at my school and that's just some weird shit.

I love this man, and I can't believe my luck, he's standing in front of me, telling me he wants me, but should it really be this hard to be with someone?

"We've both agreed that we're not ready for this. Sure, maybe in a few year we'll be in a position where we can do all that stuff you mentioned but it's not possible right now" I sigh. I so badly want it to be. My heart flutters everytime he's around and I think about him twenty four seven.

I can't imagine a life without him in it.
Even if we aren't together.

I know he knows i'm right.

"With everything that's going on with school and graduation coming up, I need to concentrate on studying and grades and I need to be the best friend Tara deserves."

I don't need any distractions, some things are more important than a guy, even if said guy is the hottest thing to ever walk the planet.

We're silent for a few minutes before hunter eventually nods. "I get it. I don't particularly like it but I understand where you're coming from."

"Good" I say as I take a hold of his hand and entwined his fingers with mine. "I'm a firm believer that if two people are meant to be together, they will be. No matter what obstacles get in there way."

"So you want to wait?" he asks looking down at our joint hands.

"I want to be friends. See where it goes." I tell him with finality.

Truth is, at my birthday party, if Hunter had told me he loved me back, we wouldn't be having this conversation. I imagine we would be together, Tara hating me and Hunter jobless but we would be happy.