unsteady

healing: part one

                                                     i will love you

                                                                    longer than a thousand sunsets.

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Sean

___

He held her all through the night, letting her rest on him. She seemed as if she had not slept for weeks. She would shake occasionally, and he would wrap his arm around her waist and squeeze gently, letting her know that her demons would not get past his protective hold. His heart beat quickly as the tiny brunette wrestled with her nightmares and he folded her in closer, vowing that nothing would hurt her.

He'd been there, too, with his anxiety.

Sometimes sleeping was just as bad as staying awake.

____

She was trembling more viciously this time. He stirred, and held her head with his arm, hoping he could drown out the noise. "Kayc," he murmured. "Kayc."

"Sean," her eyes flew open and she shuddered into him, her head resting over his shoulder as her cries subsided. She whimpered his name as he ran his hand through her hair and down her back, tracing circles comfortingly. "Sean."

"I got you," he promised, feeling her tiny body fit into his. "I'm here."

Her brown eyes fell on him. "I'm scared."

"Of what?" he asked, concerned. Panic rose in his chest. "Did I hurt you?" Damnit. He cursed himself then. I didn't mean to hurt her. I thought I was being careful.

Careful enough not to use a condom, his brain reminded him. Don't remind me,  he retorted back mentally. Sorry if I wasn't exactly visiting a psych ward with sex in mind.

"No," she sighed, falling back into the pillow, running her one hand up his chest and cupping his jawline in her hand. He nestled his cheek into her palm as she gently stroked it with her thumb. "I just worry," he murmured against her skin. 

"I know," she exhaled. 

"Then what are you scared of, bean?" he asked, brushing one of her curls behind her ear. 

"You," she smiled wryly. 

"Me?" he asked. Of all things, why would he be the thing she was afraid of? "Was it last night? Were you not comfortable? Did I do something wrong? I-"

"Not at all," she laughed gently. "And if you did, it's not like I would've known." She grinned. What she was saying hit him like a train. He had taken her....whoa. "I know what you're thinking," she said, reading his face. "I'm ok."

"Why are you scared?" he asked her, suddenly feeling very nervous.

"I don't want to lose you," she answered him, averting her eyes.

"Lose me?" he laughed, amazed how she could even think about that. "Lose you?' she nodded weakly. "I will never lose you, Kayc," he kissed her softly. "I'm here until you want me to stop being here."

"Never," she said against his lips.

"Then forever," he said, pulling her on top of him. Her legs loosely wrapped around his waist in her shorts and his shirt, clad on her now, leaving him bare-chested, fell on his skin softly, as it dwarfed her frame. Her arms found their way around him and her head rested under his chin, which he sat on top of her, the silent gesture claiming that she was his and his to protect.