The Sorrow that Happens

Let there be blood

Clara POV

Slowly my eyes flutter open noticing the yellow and red lights pouring through my open windows. For a minute I lay there enjoying the early morning light. Suddenly, I remember where I was. The sadness, loneliness, and grief weighing heavily on my soul. Almost every morning my father and I would sit together in the kitchen enjoying a cup of coffee watching the sunrise is where my love of coffee comes from. He would always tease me about the amount of sugar I put in mine. I knew he would never tell my mom about how much sugar I put in because we both know she would freak out about it. We always made little pacts like that with each other. We both enjoyed how the sun would greet the day, turning the darkness of night time into hope.

Swallowing back those memories before it becomes too much to handle. I get up from my bed. Spinning in a circle trying to figure out what to do next. Taking a deep breath putting courage back into me. I put one foot in front of each other heading towards my new bathroom. My bladder guiding me towards my first task.

After using the restroom and washing my hands. I look at myself in the mirror. Staring at my reflection I don't look that much different than I did two weeks ago... I still have my long black hair, green almost blue eyes, same tan skin and high cheekbones. On the outside nothing looks different, nothing has really changed. I lean closer getting a better look at my reflection I realize that I'm lying to myself. My once beautiful eyes look dull. The spark I once had is no longer there. My skin is pale and my cheekbones look sunk in. I feel like that the joy that I once had is dormant, hidden away by my grief. Shaking my head I move away from the mirror taking in the view of my new bathroom. Looking around I was in awe of the size of it. It is twice the size of my bathroom back in North Dakota. There is a ginormous shower that could easily hold four people in it. Against the far wall of the shower there is a bronze and silver bathtub. It was encased in the shower. I have never seen a shower/bath like that before. On the opposite side of the vanity there are shelves lining the wall. I was taken back to find all of my toiletries, from my last bathroom, were sitting on the shelves

'when did those get here!

Looking at my rose water shampoo and conditioner I decide I should take a shower. I collect everything I need and turn the shower on to warm up. I get in and let the hot water wash away the soreness from my body from being in the U-Haul for so long.

I don't know how long I was in there but my skin was pruny. I get out and wrap my hair and body in my white fluffy towel. Stepping into my room I head toward my dresser hoping my clothes are in it. Again, I'm surprised to find my clothes tucked away neatly into my dresser.

When did this happen....?

I decided on one of my more comfortable outfits, black skinny jeans paired with a long sleeve white cotton shirt. I like this shirt because it falls loosely around my body, but it's not too big. Lastly, I put on fluffy cat socks. I might have a slight sock addiction. Going back into the bathroom I take the towel off of my head and brush my hair and teeth.

Looking back in the mirror I think to myself, This is as good as it's going to get.

I walk out my bedroom door and a pleasant surprise of bacon hits me in the face. Smiling, I head towards the kitchen.

Upon entering the kitchen I notice an older woman standing in front of the huge stove, singing a song I do not recognize. Startled, I stand there for a minute taking in the seen in front of me. Teetering on the idea if I should leave or if should I stay?

Before I got a chance to come to a decision the woman turns and spots me standing in the doorway. She is an older woman, in her late 50's with salt and pepper hair flowing down her back hitting right below her shoulders. She is taller than me, but everyone is taller than my 5'2 height. At first she stands there staring at me. Then all of a sudden she starts walking towards me. She had a huge smile on her face. I can tell she smiles a lot because she has deep smile lines on her face. As she gets closer I had an internal struggle..... leave, retreat......but before I could get my feet to move, she engulfs me into a warm inviting hug, squeezing me tightly.