I am sorry, I should say
I am sorry for running away
For not taking your hand
When you extended it
For saying no and being so scared
I wish I had more courage
To be myself around you
I wish I hadn't fidgeted so much
Or looked away
When your eyes met mine
Our gazes always seemed to meet
So uncannily, as if it were meant to be
I wish I had the courage
To look right at you
To look right through you
Through all your pretences
Beyond all social niceties
Just to meet your gaze and smile
Instead of shying away
Being so embarrassed
Feeling so guilty
As if I were committing a crime
I wish I had the courage
To let those words leave my lips
Words I ached to speak
Words that hurt so much
The words that held the longing
Both my heaven and hell
All that I kept suppressed
If I had the courage
To talk to you without restraint
As if that were true!
But if it were
I am sure I would have talked
For hours without end
Hoping, always hoping
That you wouldn't be bored
That you would be hung on my every word
As I am on yours
I wish I had the courage
To overwhelm the fear I held
That you would leave me by myself
And then I would be all alone
Or worse, you would so it
After I get a taste of how we could be
I would wallow in sorrow
I am sure
I don't think I could recover
From that blow
Or watch your retreating back
I am sure you are the most addictive
Imperfectly perfect
Loved for your flaws
The person I want to be with
Above all others
The person I do cherish
Above all others
The person whom I would be strongly ecstatic
To be belonging to
The person whom I want to be mine
As if humans were chattel!
Such a silly person I am
Yet, I wish to be yours
Somehow, that is what keeps
Driving me forward
Pushing me forth
Even though I have yet to
Have the courage to even
Meet your damned gaze!
I wish I could know you
Truly, and not just in my dreams
Outside my dreams
Outside all that I wish for
And all that happens in
That fictional world in my mind
Where we have lived many lives
And all of them together
If only it were as simple
To meet your gaze
See you smile at me
Resonate that profound emotion
And be yours, only yours
Forever.
YOU ARE READING
A Piece Of My Heart: Poetry and More
PoetryFalling in love is a process. So is falling out of it. This collection of mine has been written slowly over the years. It contains not only poems, but little tidbits, snippets from my diary, musings, and philosophies of what love is and of how love...
