Remember Me [harry styles] ✓

29 - Hoodies and help

"Make the last time just like the first time, push a button and rewind."

"Juniper, please open this door."

If I didn't open up the fifth time he asked, then I don't know why Harry thinks I'm going to for attempt eleven.

I've been locked in here for eight hours - since Adam found us on the balcony during his rage. We fly to Philly tonight and I know I'll have to face Harry at some point, but right now even just the idea of it makes me feel nauseous. I know I'm a coward, I know it better than anyone, but what exactly are we supposed to say to one another?

Shame about the interruption last night!

Hey! We nearly kissed! Now what?!

Psyche Penny and Eve's party has fizzled up and has now morphed into a wake - mourning what could have been. I want to yell at them - I told you so!

"Juniper, come on. We need to talk about this." He sounds tired and I can't help but wonder if he got as little sleep as I did. I watched every hour pass on the bedside clock - each minute torturing myself with the memory of the moment we broke apart. "We both know that if those cars hadn't caused such a commotion - we'd have kissed."

Oh, far out. Clearly this topic of conversation isn't as awkward for Harry as it is for me. I fall back onto the bed; letting my hair splay wildy around me like the halo of an angel cast out from heaven. I need to get showered and packed. Half of my toiletries are in our joint bathroom - sprawled across the counter and encroaching on the portion that Harry had referred to as "his".

But I can't face him. Not yet. Not when I haven't rehearsed what I'm going to say. Not when I'm plagued by the uncertainty that our friendship has been tainted forever. For a fleeting moment, I'm tempted to call Eve - but I can't do that either. I'm too stubborn. Too scared. Or in Harry's earlier words - too confusing.

Harry releases a single deep sigh, and then there's the sound of his footsteps against the laminate flooring, disappearing off into the distance. He's given up. For now, I have some breathing space. For now, perhaps, I can get my shit together.

I shove our near-kiss (or near-miss?) into an undetectable portion of my brain and haul my suitcase out from under the bed. With every new location, it's becoming harder and harder to zip shut. Or maybe it's just that my ability to spend money quickly is becoming harder to control? Harry's Green Bay Packers hoodie peeks out from under a mound of crinkled t-shirts - apparently still in my possession after a borrowing it days ago - and I find my left hand absently drifting towards it. Even when he's finally left me in peace, Harry is bloody everywhere. In a fleeting moment of frustration; I yank it out of the case, only to be frozen in place by the rattling of the door handle.

My breathing space is short-lived. Harry is back, and this time with a vengeance. It rattles a second time and the grey fabric falls from my grasp and onto the doona.

"Juniper? It's Ayae." My eyes widen at the female voice that I was very much not expecting. "There's a distressed rockstar pacing in the corridor. I think you better let me in."

Practically choking on my own saliva, I stumble towards the door. Harry's pacing in the corridor? Harry's distressed? Ayae is here?

I fumble with the lock; cringing at both my shaking hands and the sympathetic expression on Ayae's face when I finally wrench the door open to reveal her on the other side. She's got navy creepers on today, and there's a pin badge attached to her cashmere jumper that says 幸せ.

"Hey Juniper." I peek over her shoulder, relieved to find Harry not present or eavesdropping on our conversation. "Everything ok?"

I smile feebly and step aside to let her in; watching her French braids bounce with every step. The worst part of this is that I don't have a clue what Harry has and hasn't told her, nor do I know what he would be happy for me to say. "Um."

"I thought as much." She says in her sing-song voice, and perches herself on the edge of my bed. "I just caught Harry doing lengths of the corridor, about to tear his hair out. As his hair stylist - I'm afraid I can't let that happen."

We both smirk, but my heart is in my throat and I quickly lower my gaze to the carpet. "We had an argument."

It's a terrible, terrible lie. And I know from the moment it leaves my mouth that Ayae doesn't believe me for a second.

"You're cute." She says, rolling her eyes. "And so is Harry for telling me he's upset you." So that's what he told her. "But I'm not blind, my love. In fact, I'd say that up until a few hours ago - you and Harry are probably the only ones who were."

My eyes flash to her face. "I don't-"

"Yes, you do." She grins wickedly, displaying perfectly straight, white teeth. "Our Harold out there adores you." There's a pause; filled only by the sound of my heart racing and my blood rushing to my face. "Look, I don't know what exactly went down between the two of you - but please try and sort it out. There are a lot of fans who will not thank you if he shows up to his next concert bald."

That damn hair.

Never mind my feelings - let's all get cut up over Harry's wonderful hair.

I collapse down next to her on the bed; sending my suitcase bouncing off the edge and onto the floor. Neither of us makes any move to retrieve it. "We almost kissed."

Ayae releases a kind of high-pitched squealing noise, and I have to check that she's not suddenly morphed into Penny. "I knew it!" I give her a pointed look and she throws her hands up in the air. She only has to say a name to make me understand. "Adam."

The cringe is instant. I dread to think what Adam thought he'd witnessed in the early hours of this morning. There was far more skin on show than I would have liked and the broken chair certainly didn't help. If it wasn't for the fact that I needed to be out of there as soon as humanly possible - I almost would have considered sticking around just to hear the conversation that followed.

"Harry's my best friend." I sigh, albeit a little dramatically. "I waited eight years to get him back, Ayae, and something like this could muck it all up again."

She extends a manicured hand and gives one of mine a reassuring squeeze. "Babe, I think you just need to listen to Sweet Creature again to be reminded that that isn't going to happen."

I wish I could believe her. I wish my brain was as straightforward and simple as hers, Penny's and Eve's. Why do I have to overthink everything?

Can I take this risk?

I almost wish we still mad at each other like we were at the beginning. It was easier to be mad at him somehow. Easier to be curled around an aeroplane toilet; throwing my feelings up - instead of having to face this reality that I'm not even remotely prepared for.

"Why does this have to be so confusing?" I groan and fall backwards so that I'm staring up at the ceiling. From beside me, Ayae chuckles.

"Boys." I can hear the smile in her voice. "Boys are confusing."

"I hate them." I retort, and she laughs harder, causing the mattress to shake beneath us.

But of course, I could never hate Harry. Because despite the confusion, despite the inability to face up to what's really going on - I adore him too. 

author's note: Omg - she can update without months in between? I hear you all say. I told you I was back from the dead. So much so, that I've somehow managed to come up with a plot and cast list for my next Harry fic after Remember Me is finished! I'll be posting the cover/blurb/aesthetic shortly so stay tuned! Anyway - let me know what you thought of this; it's a short but sweet one...juicy stuff next time! xoxo