The Unconditional Pledge

23 Nick

"Hey, man, where've you been?"

I shrug off my jacket and toss it onto the pile of other jackets on the bench. "Picking up my date."

Ashton grins at me as he loosens his tie. "Who's the unlucky girl?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

Josh bounds over from behind the bleachers, his dirty blonde hair flopping over his forehead. He's already taken off his jacket and tie, and looks mostly sobered up. "Ah, Nick. Nice of you to finally join us."

"Hey, you were the one who told me to ask Hannah out."

"Yeah, thanks for doing me that favor," Josh says, laughing. "Alright. Someone's got to go talk to one of the drivers, he's pissed he has to drive the truck all the way around the school, and someone's got to help Jay stall the chaperones from leaving the gym."

"I'll go with Jay," Ashton says immediately, which is a relief. "After running here I think I'm going to cut back on the long distance for now."

"Weak," I mutter, and don't dodge Ashton's punch fast enough as I roll up my sleeves. "Alright, where's he parked?"

"He's by the west wing," Josh says. "Come on, I'll go with you."

"Oh," I blurt out, suddenly wishing I'd gone with Ashton. I've accidentally trapped myself. "That's okay, I've got this."

"Come on, I don't want to get stuck in cleanup."

I shut up and follow Josh as he starts walking. We're both quiet for a while. I avoid looking at him at all, scanning the field instead. The sky is pitch black, and the giant empty football field looks eerie in the dark. Soon it will be the site of the Whooping, what all of us have been waiting for all year. Somehow, though, I don't feel as excited as I thought I would be.

"So how was it?" Josh asks after a while.

"How was what?"

"You know. Asking the girl of your dreams out."

I kick a small pebble out of the way on the cement. My dress shoes, once shiny leather, are all scuffed from running and carrying Hannah to school. "It was alright."

Josh laughs. "Just alright? You sure?"

"Yeah." I think about the way Hannah had apologized to me, how I'd tried to sound like it didn't matter when it felt like she'd basically stepped on my heart with every word, how I'd kissed her and she hadn't pulled away. I clear my throat, anxious to change the subject. "How's your pledge going? Find a girl yet?"

Josh sighs dramatically, leaning his head back as we walk. I allow myself one glance at him, and then look away again. "Yeah. But I don't know, I might not get to it before time's up." He grins at me. "Kind of like last year, remember?"

I realize what he's talking about, and can't help but laugh. "Yeah. You really cut it close, huh? And Eric didn't talk to you for months."

"Worth it, though," he says, laughing too. "His mom is a great kisser."

Even from here, we can hear music from the auditorium. As we walk, I let myself experience the one emotion I haven't allowed myself to feel: defeat. If I don't complete my pledge by midnight — just hours away — I'm losing the pledge. And after everything in the past hour alone, I have no desire to win anymore. And I won't, unless I take advantage of this moment with Josh, possibly the last time I'll be alone with him all night.

I don't know what Josh is thinking about, but I wonder if it's along the lines of what I'm thinking. "This game is a fucking mess," I say finally.