My Secret...

16

T.W.: implications of suicide attempt

It was one of those nights where Patton couldn't sleep. No matter how many sheep he counted, his brain wouldn't shut down.

He sighed, sitting up in bed. To his right, Logan lay, sleeping peacefully on Patton's bed. The slow rise and fall of his chest meant that it was probably really late.

Patton grabbed his glasses and looked at the time on his phone, after being nearly blinded by the brightness. It was 3:37. He'd normally get up in two and a half hours.

Patton quietly opened the drawer of his bedside table. Sitting on the top was his blue and silver mermaid scale notebook.

He picked it up, flipping the sequins a few times before making a silver heart in the blue. The bookmark was still in place where it was last time.

Logan shuffled in his sleep behind him.

"Patt?"

Patton smiled over his shoulder, "I'm okay Lo, go back to sleep."

Logan nodded and yawned, snuggling back into the covers.

Patton set the book on the ground and pulled on some shoes and a coat. He stood and crossed his room to the window, opening the latch and pushing it open just enough for him to slip through. His feet landed on the ladder that his dad's were too lazy to take down. Carefully, as to not slip on the snow, he made his way to the ground.

He started walking. The boy stared at the dark as he made his way to the creek. Icy air made him huddle further into his coat.

Patton walked along the waters edge, iced over and buried by snow. Eventually he got to the place that no one else bothered to walk to.

A tree grew out of the water and bent itself over the ground. It's twisted trunk grew branches up to the sky, meeting with the top branches and creating a hollow space inside.

Patton pushed the branches over, crawling into the space. Inside was a hammock and some plastic drawers filled with paper. A watch was tied to the trunk after a magpie stole the other one.

Patton didn't dare go around the tree trunk to the other side. He was getting better, he didn't need to be reminded of that failed attempt. The boy rubbed around his neck for a moment.

Patton shook himself out of those thoughts, crawling into the hammock and glancing at the time. 4:12.

He had time for a nap.

~~time skip~~

Logan woke up to an empty bed.

"Patt?" He called, thinking maybe he was in the bathroom.

No response. Logan looked at the time. 7:27.

Maybe Patton was downstairs?

Logan rolled out of bed, taking his phone and trudging down to the living room. Roman and Virge were curled up on the couch watching Fullmetal Alchemist.

"Salutations." Logan yawned, "have you seen Patton anywhere?"

"No?" Virgil said, "I thought he was with you?"

Logan was very awake now, "he wasn't in his room when I woke up."

"Maybe you missed him in the hall?" Roman asked.

"Unlikely." Logan said, fidgeting with his phone, "I'm going to look for him."

"Okay, have fun." Roman smirked.

Logan rolled his eyes and went back upstairs. When he pushed open the door to Patton's room, he noticed the window open. Then the notebook by the bed.