it's three a.m. and you hate yourself. the way the glowing stars taped onto your ceiling stare down on you, their eyes an endless chasm of pity ( i don't want pity ) and all you can do is call yourself a coward. the way that the cool air settles onto your skin, a fourth layer encasing you with dread and all you can do is curse yourself for your wrongdoings, every single good part of you some sort of well-constructed lie or illusion you won't let yourself believe.
but you should. because sometimes there are. and you should take them, hold them and never let go. it's like holding a flashlight when you're walking through the woods in the dead of night and the shadows of trees are out to get you. it's a little salvation held tightly in white knuckles. and so, you shine the light through the forest, and you watch the shadows shy away silently. and so, you see things for what they are. use those good things the same way. i don't care how, i don't care why, but do it. you can learn from the light, just as well as you can from the darkness.
