Celadon Bay - Book One

The Durham Incident

"I'll tell it like it is." That's all the warning I get from Martin before he drops the bomb. "Leslie is beautiful, sure, but that's pretty much all there is to her."

"Wait! What? You have to be kidding me." I lean over the top bunk to better listen to this nonsense, because as usual, we're reviewing our day before we go to sleep. Martin spent his whole day with his brand-new girlfriend, so this is the first time I get to speak with him about it. "You might not be aware of it yet," I say, "And maybe it's the shock of getting together with such a splendiferous young girl or some shit, but you're dating Leslie Durham. Everyone in school wants to date Leslie Durham! Probably even other girls want to date Leslie Durham!"

"Yes, and that's why everyone in school has her idealized," Martin says, letting out a frustrated sigh. "Me included, I admit. But that's only part of the problem."

"Seriously, Martin? Are you really saying that Leslie Durham, aka: the Tenth Grade's Bombshell, also known as 'nine out of ten'—

"I hear you. She's just not up to my expectations, that's all. So what?"

I grant him a second to breathe, think, and realize he's wrong. I mean, sure; everyone has great expectations of someone like Leslie, but did we really give her shoes too big to fill?

"Okay, let's go step-by-step here," I say, trying to give Martin the benefit of the doubt. "What is it about her that you dislike so much?"

"She's not as interesting as one might expect from a tenth-grade girl. She has no conversation other than her stupid nail polish or her posh friends. It's like she fell off Saint Claire's or something."

"Wow," I say. "That's harsh."

Saint Claire High School is Celadon Bay's most prestigious private school for the fashionable, the elite, and the rich. Not my turf by any means, and although Martin would definitely be able to pull his own weight there, he's not interested either. Of course, to any proud CJ High student, this would be a big insult.

My point being, Martin is actually insulting his newest girlfriend, based off how shallow she is. Ironic as that sounds.

"Nah," I say, and I can hear his big sigh. "I'm not buying that. There must be something else you're not telling me."

"Okay. You're right." I hear him take a deep breath before continuing. "If you must know, she's a terrible kisser."

I wait a bit, expecting more, but nothing else follows.

"Wait, that's it?"

"That's it."

"But, Martin, isn't that something you learn over time?"

"You've never kissed a girl in your life, have you?"

"No. You know I've never had a girlfriend." (And no, Janice still doesn't count.)

"So, you don't know how to tell if a kiss is actually terrible or good, do you?"

"No. So what?"

"So shut the fuck up and listen to me for a change. I don't like her. She's plain and boring, and she's a terrible kisser."

"Oh, come on! Give her a few days. It can't be that bad."

"Johnny?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you so interested in me dating Leslie?"

And there you have it. He catches me off-guard, as usual.

"Actually, I don't know." It's the question I've been asking myself all day, still unanswered. "I guess I just want you to settle down with a girl. And in my humble opinion, the two of you look awesome together."