his mind ♡ mark lee ✓

I

[1st Person: Mark]

That day I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't sleep either knowing that I caused the death of the person I was to live the rest of my life with.

I was planning to propose to her during our trip, but fate had other plans.

The doctor and nurses say it's not healthy what I've been doing. That I should be eating and getting rest. They tell me it not my fault. That it was her choice and I'm not to blame.

Mother says Lily did it with love and wouldn't want me to cry over her. I know she wants to cry too. I know she does when I can't see her. It shows in her face. She thinks if she pretends to be strong that I won't cry as much, but it just hurts even more seeing her like that.

A few days after my sleep situation worsened, the doctor prescribed me pills for me to take nightly. It's been two weeks since I last slept without them.

It doesn't feel like sleep though. I don't feel rested or the slightest bit "refreshed". It just feels like paralysis.

"Mark?"

There it-she is. I've been hearing and seeing her since that morning in the hospital.

"Mark."

"You're not real," I muttered closing my eyes.

"Of course I'm real, just open your eyes."

I did what she said and opened my eyes finding her standing right in from of me. I just want to hold her right now, but she's just a hallucination.

"You're not real," I mumbled as a tear fell from my eye.

"Don't cry, I'm right here," she wiped my tear away. "I'm real."

I couldn't contain myself anymore. I pulled her down into my embrace; letting all of my tears out as I did.

"You're here," I sobbed onto her shoulder. "You're really here."

After about ten minutes of me crying my eyes out with Lily holding me, I spoke.

"If you're alive, why did they tell me you donated your heart to me?" I said wiping the remaining tears.

"Mark, do you really think your family likes me?" she scoffed.

"Of course they do, they love you."

"Yea right," Lily rolled her eyes. "When I told your mother that I wanted to marry you, her entire attitude towards me changed."

"What?"

"It was about a year ago, and she's been rude to me since."

"Wait, you wanted to marry me one year ago?" my eyes widened.

"Yea?" she responded, looking away.

"Wow."

"What?" this time she was looking at me.

"Nothing. It's just that," I paused, "we both wanted the same thing at the same time."

I couldn't help but laugh and look at the ceiling.

"But your family stopped us from being happy..."

"We can still be happy," I held her hands in mine.

"How?" she questioned with furrowed eyebrows.

"Let's leave."

—
I'm not saying shit🤐

(new chapter every Friday✨)