Half Alive

Chapter 5 Love and Regret

A sickening smell. Then warmth.

...... You are a girl Sierra. We take decisions for you......
..... You are a girl, Sierra. We have all rights to control you....
...... You are a girl, Sierra......

The words echo in my head. I swam in blood-tinted water. Fear and curiosity filled me. I felt like a restless soul.

I saw a light beneath. I swam down into the water. The sea was getting colder as I swam deeper. I reached the bottom. I heard the voice of a lady.... no; it was a man...I couldn't distinguish. I swim closer to the light.

I saw a huge figure in front of me. Half of its body is beautiful while the other half is an exact reflection of death.

"Hello, Sierra Young. I am Fate." She paused and scanned me from head to toe. "Don't worry. I am not like death." She laughs. Then her expression transforms. "I am worse."

I felt uneasy as I followed her. She swam for a few minutes and then halted.

"The struggle has two stages. The past and the future." She paused. "We will now go through stage 1. The past. I will take you to your past. You win if a single tear does not fall from your eyes."

White smoke covered us. Soon, we arrived in front of a large house. It was mine. I entered through the open door along with Fate. I felt nostalgic.

There was a loud noise. It became louder and clearer as we went close. It was my father's voice.

"You must not go there, Sierra." My father shouted.

"What is your problem? The school tour happens only once in a year. Why don't you allow me?"

"Because you are a girl, Sierra. We take decisions for you." He stormed out of the room.

I didn't know why fate showed me this day. It is the day I try to bury in my head. His words were the ones I fought against. It is the feminism that arose in me, which made the present Sierra Young.

I had cried that day. I had prayed earnestly prayed earnestly to God to make him pay for every syllable he has uttered. He paid for it. Three years later, he died because of lung cancer.  I could hear him wince in pain till the last minute of his life. Not a tear had fallen from my eyes, for it imprinted the hatred in my mind long ago. It still stayed unaffected.

Fate turned and said, "Now shall we see the other side?"

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.  Fate caught my hand and pulled me through the closed door of my parent's bedroom. She indicated me to listen closely.

"She was sad. You should not have been that angry." My mom said.

"It's okay, Jas. She will forget all this after a few days. Her health is more important. "

My health? I looked at fate. She indicated me to continue listening the conversation. I heard my father wince in pain.

"Are you all right?" My mother asked, concerned.

"Yeah,  I'm fine. After all it is for my daughter. I don't have one kidney, but that doesn't matter. See, I am still a strong man." He chuckled.

"Take a rest. Both you and Sierra needs to recover."

I feel a lump form in my throat.  The pain of sadness take over me. I tried to suppress it. But love is a powerful feeling and regret is even stronger.

I cry.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

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