With Every Single Beat of My Heart

Seven

I was born to love you

With every single beat of my heartYeah, I was born to take care of youEvery single day of my life

The surgery was a success. Gwilym was pleased with his work even if it was the hardest thing he ever had to do. When he first met Ben Hardy, he was a pompous asshole who should have sat in a jail cell, not volunteering in a hospital.

When he got involved with Joseph Mazzello, Gwilym expected nothing but heartache and he wasn't wrong. He was a sweet lad who was dealt a bad hand and Gwilym didn't like the idea of some pretty boy who avoided jail time because of his rich family coming in and messing with his head and his heart.

But it didn't go the way Gwilym expected. The way anybody expected really. Ben gave Joe everything he could to make him happy. More than any normal person should ever give.

Gwilym has spoken to Ben personally before it all went to hell. It was during a time when Joe's pacemaker was on the fritz. Prior to their marriage, though you would never know. Ben was barred from visiting due to not being family but Gwilym snuck him in. He knew better. He had his alone time with Joe and later that not the doctor found Ben on the roof.

He was smoking and while Gwilym knew it was horrible he took the drag that was offered. They got to talking about who was put on this earth and for what reason. Neither men were very religious; both finding it absolutely bullshit why people had to die in ways that were out of control.

Ben had confessed to Gwilym all about Joe's writing. The brunet was so incredibly talented yet he never got the chance to do anything. He was too busy wasting away inside of hospital rooms. Ben didn't understand his purpose in life. He did nothing but waste everybody's time and finally, when he did start to do some good he was punished for it by loving a man that was too willing to walk into the light rather than stay and fight.

And then there was a guy like Gwil, who had the power to help so many. Gwilym has a purpose and so did Joe.

But Ben didn't see himself in that light. At least not until he took his final breath. Only then did Gwilym understand all the things they had said. All the choices Ben had made in the past few weeks. In the past few days. He had been planning this for so long because to Ben it was the only way. This was his only purpose in life. To give someone like Joe a second chance at living.

Nobody knew how Joe would handle the truth. They thought about lying and saying it was an accident. Neither Ben's mother or Joe's wanted to tell him the truth and they kept him away from the tv and internet so the brunet wouldn't see any of the news outlets about the man who killed himself outside of the hospital.

Joe had found him one night when he was sitting by the window all alone. He was supposed to be sleeping and the doctor was just popping in check all the monitors. He asked Gwilym for the truth and while he didn't answer directly, he told Joe what he needed to hear.

That Ben loved him more than anything in the entire world.

He wanted to be angry and he was. Angry and hurt by how things had ended up. Ben wanted them to be together so they could have a future together. How was Joe supposed to go on without him? Joe didn't want a future if Ben wasn't in it.

For the first time in his life Joe was living with a healthy heart but it was a broken one too. How was Joe supposed to go on knowing the man he loved, the one who fought for them since the very beginning wasn't with him anymore?

Gwilym reminded him that he was there. Deep inside of Joe, he was there. Beating strongly. There was so much Ben wanted for Joe and now it was time for Joe to take those first steps.

Gwilym knew about all the things Joe wanted to do. The scripts he would write and the movies he dreamed of making. It was time to turn those dreams into reality. Ben had taken care of everything without anybody even knowing about it. Everything was left to Joe, giving the man a huge push forward.

But it was more than just money. He had taken the things Joe wrote and submitted them to every fucking studio, every single film industry personnel. Joe was sitting in the hospital, crying in Tom's arms because everything was coming together. People liked his work and wanted to make something of it.

Ben should have been by his side but he wasn't. Life wasn't fair and if anybody knew that it was Joe. But here he was, given the chance of a lifetime and Gwilym knew he wasn't going to just let it slip by.

Joe wouldn't let the man he loved die in vain. He resented his husband to the end of the earth for leaving him the way he did but at the same time, he was so fucking grateful.

Gwilym also reminded Joe that despite the pain it brought him, losing Ben also brought good to so many others in the world. As an organ donor, other people in the world would be able to gain from Joe's loss. There was a silver lining to the dark cloud that hung over him.

There was a letter found inside the car with Joe's name on it. He read it and cried, read it again and cried some more. He felt terrible and screamed, and punched, and wanted the entire world to know just how fucking unfair life was.

Gwilym had caught sight of the letter while Joe was preparing to leave. They were lyrics from the song Joe and Ben had danced to at their wedding. And as Joe pulled on his sunglasses and got behind the wheel of the beautiful car with that adorable beagle sitting in the passenger seat, Gwilym repeated those words in his head as he watched the man drive off.

Ben loved him.

Honest and truly.

With every single beat of his heart.