Cursed Crimson

Epilogue

Dedicated to all the wonderful readers out there that had stayed long enough with me to this last epilogue <3 

Epilogue

I looked at the familiar name in front of me. Softly caressing my fingers over the carved stone, a smile slipped onto my face.

“Hey Luke… It’s been a long time…” The smile left my face the moment the words were spoken.

“How are you doing…?” I settled myself into a comfortable position onto the floor in the cemetery. Definitely not the best place to get comfortable with though.

“I’m…” I sighed. “Not fine.” I wrapped my hands around my legs and rested my chin on my knee.

“In fact, the past one year since you left… It was never good.”

“I’m sorry,” I apologised, the waterworks starting again. “I’m sorry, I really am.”

“Every day I blamed myself for your death, carrying the guilt with me, and every single second I wished I was the one dead.”

“How could you leave me?” I sobbed but then laughed a second later, “I sound like a whiny girlfriend.”

People would have thought that I was a crazy woman speaking to myself, but I could feel Luke with me. I could almost imagine it in my head, Luke sitting beside me and laughing at my comment- probably making some stupid innuendo. It felt like yesterday when I was just discussing about my power with Luke, and then gossiping about Ashton behind his back.

“Time flies fast, isn’t it?” They say time heals all wound but I don’t think it healed the wound of me losing Luke. It still hurts.

“I miss you,” I whispered. “You had no idea how I actually pull through senior year by myself. Actually, I had no idea how I actually managed to survive senior year.”

After leaving Ashton and the pack and going back to my supposedly normal life, I might have regretted doing that because I realised how much of a loner I was going to be. Jules obviously left the school, seeming how she can’t face me anymore. I survived my last senior year in high school, being pretty much a loner. But still, I completed it, and I graduated. But Jules came to the funeral I organised for Luke a week later after I left Ashton.

On that day, we both mourned over the loss of a friend. That day, we set our hatred aside as we cried in each other arms. I wasn’t expecting her to come, but when she came and offered help, I was glad to have her around. There weren’t a lot of people who came as it was kept as quite a low profile since I could not cook up any logical way how he died. But When Jules left, she offered her last apology, and that was the last I see of her. To be honest, I would have forgiven her. In fact, right now, I already did.

Ashton came too; in fact, most of his pack members came. I had no idea how he found out about the funeral, but he came and it was appreciated. I knew he was sorry, but I could not find it in to actually be happy or even forgive him- considering the fact that Luke never really liked him.

And it was awkward. But I was glad for the fact that he did not brought up that I left him in the middle of the night, literally.

“Hey Luke… Did you remember what you said before you left?”

“You said I have to be happy…” “But how…?” I shut my eyes and the scene when he died entered my eyes again.

“You said I need to stay happy for you. But I couldn’t. I had no idea how to be happy without feeling the guilt. Every time when I laughed at a joke, or smiled, the next moment all I could think was “Luke wasn’t experiencing this too.” “Luke would have loved this joke.” Luke wasn’t this and that.”