Guns and Roses

Twenty Nine ~ Quinn

I meet Ellie at the bowling alleys that we had our first date at. She's leaning on her car, her face twisted into a scowl as she looks at her phone. Her long blonde hair is twisted into two Dutch braids down her back and she's wearing a white t-shirt and cropped jeans despite the cold air blowing.

I'm too distracted by her that I don't notice the inch-deep pothole that's filled with rain water until I'm standing in it and cold muddy water is seeping through my shoe and into my sock.

I hiss and yank my foot out but it's too late. I wiggle my toes around and dose my foot a little hoping to dry it off. I hear a laugh and look up to see Ellie sliding her phone into her back pocket. She grins at me and raises an eyebrow "You doing okay there?" She asks.

We've went out nearly every day for the past two weeks. After Rya was attacked, the house has been strange. Everyone's so tense and hostile. Matthew has barely left Rya's side and I always feel awkward when it's just the three of us.

I look back at Ellie and see her tucking a stray hair into her braid. "Hey" I say to her still gently shaking my foot "Where do you want to go?"

She shrugs "We could go back to mine. I was going to suggest we go have a picnic but the weather's getting bad" She gestures up to the grey sky and I nod.

We both get into her car and pull out of the car park. She starts to sing along to whatever song is on the radio and my phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out and see another few messages on the group chat.

Kira: Should we add Rya? I don't want her to think we're leaving her out.

Reggie: Would she even want on it?

Kira: I just want to know how she's doing.

I quickly text back that I'll add Rya to the group chat later and then put my phone away. I'm not entirely sure how Rya will feel about being in a group chat when I'm not sure how I feel about it myself.

"So, I haven't been sure whether or not to bring it up, but how is Rya? I read the article and it's pretty heavy shit. I mean, I can't imagine going through what she's going through" Ellie says almost sheepishly. I put my phone back in my pocket.

I sigh "She's just being Rya I guess. She refuses to even consider that her dad was involved in any of it. Even though the evidence is right in front of her, she can't see it"

Ellie chews on her lip "They found her dad's blood on the wall after her mum was attacked didn't they?"

I nod "On the knife too. No one wants to believe it but it's looking more likely every day"

We don't talk about any of it in the house. I guess it's like how it must of been when they were locked up - any mention of them is positive and never about Bella's death. It's only Rya now that's holding out any hope that her mother is still alive.

"She's recovering well though" I say trying to put a little bit of cheer into my voice "I saw her this morning and she seemed well"

Ellie nods and we pull into her car park. We head up to her apartment and then I hang up my jacket behind the door. When I turn around, she's right behind me.

I jump in fright and then her lips are on mine. Her hand is on the back of my neck, squeezing gently and then she pulls back, still holding me. "It must be so hard for you," she says softly "In that house. With everything going on, you must be so stressed. If you ever need anything, even if it's just to vent, you can come to me. You know that right?" She asks me.

I nod and slip my hand into hers. "It's not so bad. I mean, at times its can be a little bit much..." I trail off. If I reveal anything too much it would literally kill me.

She strokes my cheek and her face crumples in a way that reminds me of my mother when I used to scrape my knees and she'd kiss them better. "What? You can tell me"

I step away from her and sit on the couch with my head in my hands. So much has happened over the past few weeks. It's been nearly a month and we're no closer to finding my grandfather. They've started a murder investigation but they haven't found anything either.

My stomach twists and a wave of nausea passes over me. I think of Rya lying there in the shipyard in a blood of her own blood. At the betrayal she has experienced but she still gets up every day. I think of the gun in my hands, the loud bang of the bullet leaving the chamber and the way their bodies fell.

In the past month, I've became someone that I never expected I could become. I'm a killer and I'm alone. If my grandfather ever found out what I did to try and get him back, he'd hate me.

Ellie rubs my back as I cry it out. She probably thinks I'm weak because of my tears. I can't even explain them to her or I'll lose her too. I wipe my eyes and take a deep breath "Sorry" I tell her "Its just been a tiring few weeks"

She smiles and nods her head "I get it. You don't have to be embarrassed, I think you're pretty brave for sticking with her through all of this. Most would have ran at the first sign of crazy"

I gulp. If I had anywhere to go I probably would have ran too. Ellie and I watch each other for a second. I look over her pale skin and blue eyes, the open book that is her face. She's not pitying me, she's trying to comfort me but isn't sure how.

I smile at her and her lips tilt up. I lean in and press my lips against hers. She gasps in surprise as its usually her that initiates things like this. My hand rests on her thin waist and she swings herself around to face me on the couch.

I close my eyes as I kiss her and feel her hands run along my shoulders and up my neck. Her fingers get tangled in my curls and I'm not entirely sure what to do with my hands.

Her lips leave mine and she starts kissing her way along my jawline and down my neck. I drop my head back and sigh "Rya..."

"What?" She snaps suddenly sitting upright.

What the fuck did I just do?