Join Brussel Sprouts on an adventure of a totally normal life. This green leaf-balled human is no ordinary man. His girlfriend Margaret is secretly a prostitute behind his back...Will he find out? What will he do?
"Oh stop it Brussel!" moaned Margaret. Brussel just couldn't help himself. He was desperately in need of it. His mouth watered uncontrollably as he stared wide-eyed at it. "Brussel get a hold of yourself, go and try grab something else not mine!"
"Oh please Margaret! Just a little bit." His eyes still lay fixed on the cheesecake that Margaret bought for herself. Brussel couldn't take it anymore. He grabbed his girlfriend's hand and yeeted her with force, away from the cheesecake, leaving her on the floor then used his other hand to scoop up the cheesecake and gobble it up. It was the most delicious thing he had eaten for weeks. All because Margaret couldn't cook and she always burns something down when she tries to cook something, whether its the frying pan or the whole kitchen. That's why Brussel always orders KFC chicken too often. One day he might blow up because of how much he's gained weight.
"Brussel Sprouts? How can that be someone's name you ask? Someone can be named Brussel and another could have the surname Sprouts. Then why not have both first name and surname together? It's a perfect name. Unique. You just don't know how to name your children." These were the exact words that came out of Brussel's father's mouth when his son first arrived into the world. Well the father who adopted him. Poor Brussel was so dumb he forgot his own name when he was just a little boy sometimes. He had no one to look after him as his parents made him as a mistake. He got sent to an orphanage where he fell in love with Margaret. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Pitch black hair, round doll eyes with fragile red glasses towering over them, crooked teeth (Brussels had a kink for crooked teeth) and those freckles. Damn those freckles he loved so much. Her fair brown skin and pink sweater made him want her even more. This was love.
On his 7th birthday, he brought up the courage after his birthday party ended, to go into Margaret's room to confess to her. "M-Margaret," he said, "W-will you marry me?" he was so nervous he was about to pee himself but thought to himself 'Be a man B-Brogan'. Then again, he forgot his name. Margaret snorted out loud while laughing. She laughed like a lunatic that it kind of scared him but he still loved it.
8 years later when Brussel and Margaret where both 15, they were old enough to date. Brussels asked her to be his girlfriend and she said yes. "Brussel, I loved you ever since you confessed to me all those years ago. It seems like yesterday when you came to my room." she chuckled. Brussels was happy hearing that psychotic laugh. And now that he is older it sometimes turns him on too.
He took her out on their first date to KFC. The chicken was delicious. Brussel said "Margaret, if I would taste you, you would taste as good as this chicken." That was when he realised, he had never said something like that before. Puberty? He didn't understand what he had said until he said "Margaret, I think you just turned me on." Jokes on you, he still didn't know what he was saying. He suddenly stood up and his thoughts went wild. "Brandon what are you saying?!" he questioned himself. Then again. He kept forgetting his own name. He was so confused he took Margaret's hand and ran out of KFC and speed walked home. There, Brussel closed the door behind him with a confused Margaret holding his hand.
"What's wrong Brussel?" she asked him with concern. He didn't know what to do. Instead he pulled her in and held her by the waist, slowly moving his face down towards hers. His lips were longing to greet hers as the stretched out like an ape's mouth making him look silly, but Margaret didn't mind that. She leaned closer to him too making the same ape face. Then the most memorable moment of their life came to them. their lips touched. The awkwardness of the kiss didn't matter to them. They were alone and didn't care about how they were kissing. Brussel liked it. He was turned on for sure. As for Margaret too, she began to have wild thoughts and began to blush. A slight moan exited her mouth. They clicked...
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Well then, after their first kiss what happens? Who knows? Don't look at me, I'm just a narrator, I'm not Margaret or Brussel. Moving on, it's been a few years since that happened and it's now 2019. You know what THAT means? They've aged and Brussel is now 26. They are right when they say time flies by fast. They've matured and live a sweet peaceful life together in an abandoned apartment somewhere in the middle of the city of...Brussels? Or was it Turkey? Or maybe Gravy? Or Potatoes? Anyway, that isn't what matters. What matters is that Brussels and Margaret lived together in an abandoned apartment. ABANDONED. Because they were so broke. I didn't say they were homeless you idiots. They have a home. But they're just...broke.
"Brussels," began his girlfriend, "Will you ever get a job?" The man laughed. "I've had plenty of jobs through the year Garet." He replied, "You don't need to worry we're doing just fine. I'll find another job very soon." He reassured Margaret with a soft ape-like kiss on her forehead. He suddenly remembered all those jobs he had and the last days of those jobs. He had been always been fired after at least a week into the job.
"What is this disgusting piece of shit! Get out of my sight you Kangaroo smelling peanut!" scowled Gordon Ramsey. "You and that ugly face of yours will disgust the customers even more if they had seen this! You should've just been a cleaner!" The chef threw the messy potato chips topped with chocolate moose onto Brussel's face. Brussel broke down and cried so loud that the customers outside the kitchen could hear. He bellowed like a whale in distress.
Another time, when he worked as a teacher at a primary school. "What are you feeding the children!?" A few 100 mothers came into school complaining how ill their children were after being fed the porridge filled with peanut butter, cheese and crab made by Brussel. The children had been throwing up constantly, feeling as if they would die and their stomach would explode. Brussel was still learning. He learnt most importantly that he should never take Margaret's job suggestions, but he won't tell her in case it hurt her feelings.
"I'm worried about actually going broke someday though sweetie...Oh! I have a suggestion Brussel!" Her face lightened up with joy. Brussels knew he couldn't take her suggestions but he couldn't run away from her.
"M-maybe not now Margaret-"
"Maybe I could go to work instead!" She laughed psychotically once again.
"That's not a b-bad idea..." Brussel laughed nervously. She had never gone to work before and wanted to do so. She had no idea what she wanted to do so she searched up jobs on Google and found the first random job she saw. A PROSTITUTE. She was shocked to see that a prostitute was what she saw first but she didn't want to change it to make it a hassle and believed that the first job you see is what you're fated to be. However, she never told Brussels what she was going to do and instead told him that it's a secret and he'll be very happy when he finds out how much she's paid for it. She would get paid £45 every time she works. She suddenly thought to herself '£45 a week...what is £45 times 4 weeks? £180 at least!' She knew she had to do it. It would help her masturbating if she tried with a few guys.
