Okay, Maybe I'm A Bit Gay

O N E

~ Chapter 1 \ Saturday, June 8th ~

I HATED THIS GIRL and I needed her to know that I was not interested. So I interrupted her while she talked.

"She was such a bitch and I was like-"

"This Alfredo is so good!"

That didn't work. She just agreed as she took a small bite of it before she washed it down with her beverage just so she could start talking again. If interrupting her wasn't going to work I had to take drastic measures. I started shoving a bunch of food down my throat, no longer caring about getting messy. I wasn't even chewing at that point; I just swallowed everything. I felt Alfredo sauce all over my face, a lot of it got onto my shirt but she still didn't care.

She just laughed and said, "Babe, you're making such a mess."

Well yeah, that was the point. I was trying to be a slob because they were unattractive. I read it on some article one day about how not to act on a first date with a girl and one was to not eat like how I was eating but I guess whoever wrote that article was a lie because she didn't get up and walk away like it said. I went down the list in my head of everything I could remember.

Showing that I was not interested in what she was talking about, check. Being a complete slob, check. It was time for me to be argumentative.

"I remember when my ex ate like a slob. He was so disgusting and-"

"Your ex huh? I don't want to hear about your damn ex on our date!"

That gave me the reaction I wanted. I was waiting for her to blow up on me and completely throw her drink in my face but she just sighed and smiled. "You're absolutely right. How rude of me?"

Damn it. That didn't work. It was time for don't number 4; don't look at other females, your date should be the center of your attention. I watched as a lady walked passed me and I made it obvious that my eyes were following her with animated wide eyes and sticking my neck out like I was a cartoon character.

"Man, those jeans really look good on her."

Cassandra, my date, looked back at her and gasped. "Oh my god! You are so right! Her butt looks so good, don't ya think?"

I snatched a noodle off my fork and started to chew like the food was the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted. "Yeah, I totally agree."

Don't number 5; do not complain about the bill. I waved our waiter over and asked him for our bill and I even made sure to ask for separate bills to see if she would get offended but nope. She was actually happy about it because it showed that I saw her as an equal. I just rolled my eyes and told the waiter to make it quick.

Luckily, he did and as soon as he came with my bill; I snatched it out of his hand. "This is ridiculous!" I got everyone's attention; it was time for me to put on a show. "50 dollars? I barely even ate anything! This is some overcharged bullshit!"

"Don't worry babe, I'll take care of it."

I had enough. "Okay fine!" I took my stand and slammed my receipt down on the table before I walked out. I tried to get to my car as quickly as possible but Cassandra was quicker.

"Wait up! Aren't you going to drive me home?"

I turned around and stomped over to her. "You-," I started with a point of my finger towards her face, "are not my type!"

"You're not my type either. I told you I never dated an Asian guy before and I understand if you're not really into white girls but we're just trying something new, right?"

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "No, Cassandra. You don't get it! I don't like you as a human being! I hate your personality and everything else about you! You are so annoying so just stay out of my life and never call me again, capeesh?"

I turned away and smiled because I felt good after letting that all out. It was over and I was free from the hell, Ashley signed me up for. I got into my car and slammed my door. As I was starting up my car, she came to my door and knocked on my window which completely startled me.

"What?" I asked as I rolled my window down.

"If there's something you want me to change about myself, I can do it?"

"Huh?"

She grabbed her breasts. "You want me to have bigger breasts?" She then turned around and started to mess with her butt. "Or do you want me to have an ass like Kim K or Nicki Minaj because I can get that if that's what you're into." She then puckered up her lips. "How about bigger lips?"

"Goodbye!" I hollered as I rolled up my window and drove off. I was expecting her to leap onto my car and hold on for dear life, screaming at the top of her lungs to give her another chance but luckily, she didn't.

Thank you, God for that.

I decided to roll my window back down to dry myself off from all the mess I made and to also help with the headache that was coming. It was a nice sunny day and the weather was about 67 degrees Fahrenheit which seemed to be the only good thing about that day. I was on my way to the park where Ashley and I agreed to meet at after our dates and I just hoped that I wasn't the only one who went through hell.

The guy I picked out for Ashley seemed like a cool guy though so I doubt that her date was as bad as mine but I just hoped, I guess.

I pulled out my phone from my pocket and called Ashley. The phone rang for a few times before she answered. "Hello?"

"Hey, Ashley. Is your date over?"

"Yeah, see you at the park?"

"Yeah, see ya."