inexpedient utterances

bath

i'm under water.
head and all
and i can't see
but as soon as I come up

my head swirls, curls
water flows and drops down
my face
my eyelashes
angry

i can feel that I've changed
I'm better.

then where is my reason?
cause i want to see crimson

watch it fuck off
down the side
into swirls

my friend laid
right beside me

just once scream.

into another reality
not a mirror reality
something full of shaped
abstract things

yep ashamed
pressed down on the wall
the water under my mouth shivers
And my body forces me to breath

i don't understand
what there is to understand

the mud of tomorrow goes down my drain.

my mind spiraling with it.